Awaken Your Soul’s Journey: Finding Healing Through Grief with Angela Clement

[00:00:00] Welcome to Hard Beautiful Journey, where we embrace vulnerability as our superpower and let courage light our path. I'm Tiff Carson here to share heartfelt stories of healing, grief, and resilience. Each week I'll talk with guests from experts to everyday heroes about their journeys through adversity.

Together, we'll uncover the beauty that emerges from life's challenges. And how each experience can spark profound growth. Join us on this courageous journey of connection and transformation.

Welcome to heart, beautiful journey. Today we are diving into a conversation that aligns so deeply with the healing heart journey framework, a journey of resilience, purpose, and connection. My guest, Angela Clement has turned the profound pain of losing her husband into a mission to help others heal. [00:01:00] Her work as a grief coach, healer, and creator of Awaken Your Soul's Journey beautifully reflects the pillars of this framework.

Using your voice, nurturing your soul, finding community and igniting gratitude. Angela's story is one of transformation where loss became the catalyst for profound healing. Not only for herself, but for the countless people she supports through her writing, her online series and her coaching. She offers a roadmap for turning heartbreak into hope.

Welcome to the show, Angela. Thank you. How are you? Great. How are you? Good. I have one very, very important question. And unless you know Angela or you've read her book, you might not know what we're talking about. But which one is your favorite, [00:02:00] Terrace, War Lodge, or Rainbow? I love War Lodge. Why do you love War Lodge?

That was where we stayed, and it's the most beautiful place. , It has the most lodge poles in it. Exactly. So, what we are talking about is, I just finished reading Angela's book, which we will get into, but I was pleasantly surprised to find out that you are Saskatchewan girl, like me. I was born and raised in Chaunovin.

And spent many, many, many, many years camping at Cypress Hills, Saskatchewan, which is one of Angela's favorite places to be. Um, so yeah, I needed to find out which one was your favorite for sure. And it is, War Lodge is hands down my favorite. [00:03:00] My family leans towards Terrace, but no, I'm a War Lodge girl, so.

I love that you are a War Lodge girl too. So thank you so much for being here on the show today. To start, you have experienced some deep loss and also extraordinary growth. For those who may not know your story, can you share what led you to do the work that you're doing now and what inspired you to write your book?

Well in 2021, my husband of 35 years, Blaine, was diagnosed with colon cancer and he was diagnosed in January. It came as quite a surprise because really, he hadn't been sick, he had a little bit of pain and we thought maybe it was gallbladder or [00:04:00] something along that line and then found out it was colon cancer.

It was quite a shock. So he was diagnosed in January and he passed away in October. So it wasn't a long time, which in some ways, you know, we're thankful that he didn't have to suffer for a long time if he was going to go. But it was, we moved in that time. I retired in that time. And so, there was so many things that had changed, and I had no idea what to do next.

We had all these plans, like everybody does. You have these plans, you're, we were going to retire, we were going to follow our grandkids, we were going to travel, and it just didn't happen that way. And that also happened around the same time as your son, [00:05:00] or son in law. Yes. Yeah. Being diagnosed with cancer as well.

So they were actually going to treatment at the same time together for part of it. How was that dealing with both of them? Well, you know, it was hard not to think why, why us, why all of that? And yet, you know, Sheldon and Blaine had this special bond because of it. You know, it was, was, they were. They got along really good before that, but this really cemented their relationship.

And so, you know, as hard as that was, it was a beautiful thing too, because they had that, that they shared together. It was tough. It was really tough. And I felt like, you know, I, I didn't know how to support my [00:06:00] daughter in that. Because you were going through it as well. Yes. Mm hmm. Yeah. Did you have that bond, though, because you were going through the same thing with your husband?

Yeah, I think so. You know, we talked about medications that they were taking, I mean, if you can believe that was a bonding thing, but it was because I was showing her, you know, how I kept track of things and she was super organized. She had a binder and it's, it's overwhelming what they give you for medications for that.

And it's. And you have to be on top of it. Yeah. Um, I wanted to clarify something or, um, confirm something, sorry, with you is, did Blaine pass away October 2021? Yes. My brother passed away October 27th, 2021, which I think was the [00:07:00] day after Blaine. Yes. Yeah. That was Blaine. Blaine's birthday is October 27th, 2021.

And that was the day that my brother passed away. So when I read that too, I was just like, Oh my goodness. So. So I know the, any time of the year when somebody passes away, um, that time of the year is generally harder. So when it's starting to be Thanksgiving and it's starting to get cooler, that is just a reminder of the death versary, I call it, um, that is kind of the timing of when I know things are going to get a little bit harder.

Is that the same for you around that time of the year? Yeah, especially in the beginning, you know, the first year was really hard, um, the second year not quite so much. And I found this [00:08:00] year okay, you know, so it's just, I think, you know, I've gotten used to figured out how to move through those emotions and we've created new traditions and we've So, it's starting to get easier.

So, like I've, I said, I read your book and I have to tell you, as an author myself, I know how hard it is to write a book. And I know how hard it is to write a good book that holds people's interest and actually has value. It's tangible things that you can do, um, to, to work on your healing journey or on your grief journey.

And yours is phenomenal. It is so well written. It is so, um, relatable. And the one question that kept coming up for me as I was reading it. [00:09:00] And with having parents that are age, aging and getting up there, um, and aunts and uncles and everything is, do you think that the book that you've written could benefit those, um, like my age or where the parents are getting to the age where they might pass?

Yeah, I think so. Because grief, even though it's very different for each of us and every circumstance is very different. The tools that we use to move through emotion are the same. We can, we can pick and choose those as they suit us. There's, there's a variety of them. It's just a matter of figuring out what works for you.

So that's why when I wrote the book, I put everything that I, that I could think of and that I used that worked for me. And a lot of them [00:10:00] I have used as well in my grief journey with my brother passing away, um, and my marriage ending, because as you say in your book too, um, grief isn't just the loss of somebody.

There are many forms of grief and each one of them, everybody's journey is different. is completely different. So that's why being able to see a variety of things that have helped is so beneficial. Um, the one thing that I know I experienced with my brother, my brother passed away of a fentanyl overdose.

Um, but after a long addiction, I dealt with anticipatory grief. Before he even passed because I had a knowing, um, I've also had a spiritual awakening. I'm a very spiritual person. I had a knowing that he wasn't going to make it past his 50th birthday. And so I had started [00:11:00] the grief journey before he was even gone.

Is that your experience before Blaine passed away as well? Yes, for sure. And even though it's hard, you know, I've hoped and I'm sure you were the same. You know, you hold out hope that you're wrong and that, you know, it's gonna be okay, but The situation was dire, and it's not a great prognosis. Yeah, it's not.

So was there a specific moment in your grief journey that shifted you toward moving away from your pain in moving towards helping other people instead? Yeah, I think I didn't realize it first, but when I I started doing the summits and started interviewing people, uh, experts in grief [00:12:00] and I realized how much that was helping others and I realized how much it was helping me.

I was learning a pile from that. I think that's when I really realized that that was what I wanted to do and that even that might be my whole purpose and maybe the why for all of it. , right? Mm-hmm . So, yeah, and once I started to realize that, then it just seemed like that really was a turning point for me.

So the summits that you attended, um, can you explain a little bit, a bit more about what those are and, and how you found them? Yeah. Well, I started out actually watching a lot of summits. When Blaine was thick. I was searching, trying to find help, and I didn't find a lot for anticipatory grief or for caregivers.

There wasn't a lot out there. And then, I was watching a [00:13:00] summit by Adrienne Blackwell, and she was the one that, after Belene died, had offered this course. It was an energy healing course, and it had the offer of learning a lot of different modalities. I was really interested in energy healing, and it was something I planned to do in my retirement.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. And so I signed up for that course. It started in January. The year that he was diagnosed. Yeah, so just a few months after he passed. And I said, it'll help me, right? Because energy healing was something that, you know, I really had lots of faith in. And I had gone to energy healers, and I had got a lot of comfort and help from that.

So, well, I signed up for that course and in the last half of that course, we were to do something for marketing and it was going to be a summit. Now, if I had known that when I signed up the course, I'd [00:14:00] be like, Nope, I'm good. She

was so compelling and she was. You know, she let us pick the topic. And so I was sure I was going to do grief. I mean, that was what I was going through. It was the only thing I could think about. Yeah. So as soon as I started looking and found out, you know, there's these, all these grief coaches and there was psychic mediums and healers and this whole range of people that could help me in my journey.

So, I interviewed 25 people in April. In that summit you did? Yeah. Wow. So, I interviewed 25 people. Sent out to invite the people, you know, that I didn't know, which was scary for me. I, I, I mean, what's the worst thing that can happen? They could say no, but I was still scared. Yeah. But I did it [00:15:00] anyways. And after that, yeah, I just thought, wow, this, this is what I want to do.

This is what I want to do. Gotta get this messy joke. So your book, Awaken Your Soul's Journey, Awakening Through Grief, Awakening Through Grief. But you have a series called Awakening Your Soul's Journey, right? Yes. Summit. Yeah. It's such a powerful name. What does awakening the soul mean to you and how does it tie into the healing process that you coach on?

So I discovered through the process of grief and through, I would say, a very dark night of the soul, I had this Mother's Day from hell, I will call it.

I never said that, but that just came [00:16:00] in. It felt like, um, I was questioning everything about my life. Everything that I ever believed. Is there even a God? The whole smorgasbord. All of it. All of it. Like, what is going on? And I just remember thinking, why am I even here, you know? And so through that, somewhere in that journey, and it took quite a while, it took, I think it took till Father's Day.

So a month. Yeah, it was a lot of days of soul searching and just trying to figure out what I really believed and what was true and what felt right. And through that, I [00:17:00] think there was an awakening and not to say that, you know, I wasn't partially awakened already. I mean, I was into energy healing and I was, I was fascinating with it all, but I think this took it to a whole new level of trust and faith and surrender in something bigger than, you know, just this human self that's there.

That's here. Mm hmm. And you take that into your coaching as well, right now? Yes. A lot of the people that come to me are looking for those kinds of answers. Mm hmm. And, oh yeah, I help guide them, figure that out for themselves. You know, what is your truth? What do you truly, and really, it's almost like re identifying yourself.

Because for so long, I was Blaine's wife and I was the principal of the school. And And when those things are stripped away. Then who are you? [00:18:00] Mm-hmm . Mm-hmm . It really makes you wonder. It really does. It makes you, um, even with losing my brother, that is an identity shift as well, right? When you lose a sibling.

So now when somebody asks you how many. Brothers and sisters, you have, well, I have two, but technically, you know, so it's, it's hard to adjust to, to that loss and the new identity of, of who you are and what your family looks like. In the healing heart journey framework that I have, find your tribe is one of my pillars.

How has building a compassionate community supported your healing? And how do you help others create their own support system? Well, that was one of the first things that I did. [00:19:00] I created a group get together, I called it. Brief group get together. Yeah. And I just, you know, you don't know how this is gonna go, but I just felt like if I opened up the space, And people came, we would figure out what to talk about.

Were you nervous to do that? Kind of, yeah. A little bit. Because I've, I've wanted to do that too, and I keep thinking, Hmm, what if nobody shows up? Yeah, well, and I mean, there's the question, What if nobody shows up? Oh well, the world's not gonna end. You know, but, but putting it out there, and just trusting that if it was meant to be, that people would come.

It was just, it still is. Every time I have one of those group get togethers, [00:20:00] I can feel the energy of those souls. And it's like, you know, we're, there's no accident about who shows up and when. And a lot of those people in that group have been with me for the past two years and they keep coming back. Mm hmm.

Probably not because. They need the support so much, but we, we've become this group that cares about each other and you know, is curious about how each other is doing. And we still do have challenges. I mean, life is challenging. It's full of challenges, you know, and it's going to continue. And so we help each other through that.

And the grief journey is a roller coaster. It is. So some days you might need them, some days you might not, or some [00:21:00] months you might not, but it's on those moments when you know you have those people to connect with. It's so important. Um, and is this online or is this in your community? This is online on Zoom.

Oh, nice. Anyone is free to join. And I've got new ones that have started. And it's, it's kind of neat because you have these ones that have been with you for a while and they've kind of gone through it and they have their, their resources and things that have helped them. And so, they're able to share that, and I think it's really powerful.

So what does a session, a session, or a meeting look like, um, for a new person that might consider reaching out to you, but they are nervous? Yeah, so sometimes people are just too afraid to contribute, and that's [00:22:00] fine. Um, I just allow people to listen to the discussion, and Um, sometimes they're even afraid to turn their cameras on, you know, but this seems like over time as they get more comfortable, then they start to, you know, the cameras come on and then some point they're able to say some things and we're able to find out about them.

And, and you know, sometimes they find out the group isn't for them and that is too, but a lot of what we talk about is not just grief and the challenge of that journey, but also Um, the afterlife, um, spirituality, what we believe, um, research that we've been doing. You know, we've got some members in there that are well read and share a lot of what they are reading and learning.

So it's, and you know, I'm an introvert [00:23:00] by nature. And so this surprised me. It surprised me at how much I love it and how much. I need it as much as it's interesting that you just brought up that you're an introvert. So um, I am a recovering introvert, um, like extreme introvert. I, I have a book actually on my bookshelf.

It's called painfully shy, uh, because you could not. get one word out of me, uh, and, or I'd turn like 18 shades of red if somebody, like, tried to talk to me. And it was actually in 2019, 2020, where I actually made the decision to put myself in the rooms where I was forced to say something, where I was [00:24:00] forced to talk.

And so I, um, put myself in this business group, an online business group, and it was during COVID. And I remember like raising my virtual hand in Zoom and like being absolutely terrified of talking, but it was in those settings and in those meetings that I actually Worked through my shyness, my introvert, and now I'm hosting a podcast.

So like it's, it's a muscle, right? And unless you actually work it and force yourself to be uncomfortable, it, it's going to stay that way. And I have wanted to host meetings, like these kind of things like you're doing, and And now I just need to get over the nervousness of nobody [00:25:00] showing up, because I know that I can actually talk to the people.

Right. So you have found that you, even though you're an introvert, you can actually do this. What else have these get togethers, taught you, or helped you with. I think the biggest thing I've realized is how important it is to have your grief acknowledged, to be able to hear someone else tell a story that resonates with you, or to be able to tell your story and have someone else truly understand what you're going through.

Because, I think it, you know, when I first started with Blaine, I thought nobody, you know, yes, other people have gone through and lost their husbands, but no one lost Blaine, right? But even listening to others talk about it was [00:26:00] acknowledging the pain that I was feeling. One example is, you know, I just was feeling so guilty when Curtis and Jen were having Benson and I've got this new little grandbaby coming and everybody's like, oh you must be so excited And there was a big part of me that wasn't because I was sad to be a grandma without a grandpa Mm hmm, and I knew how much he loved kids And I was so sad about the fact that he wasn't going to get to do this.

And one of my friends, when we were walking, she said to me, you know, you must be so excited, but it must be so hard. And in that moment, I just, I could have just hugged her because I was like, That's what I needed to hear, you know, I needed somebody to acknowledge the fact that this was [00:27:00] painful as well as Exciting.

Yeah, and I so that example that you just gave is in your book and that's What I mean with your book is you have so many relatable, um, stories in there that I know so many people can, um, just find some comfort and some hope through their grief journey through your stories and you sharing your, your, um, path that you went through after Blaine passed away.

So gratitude is a big one for me and it. It often feels absolutely impossible in the depths of grief. How did you begin to ignite gratitude in your own life again after losing Blaine? It's funny how synchronicities happen, [00:28:00] because I knew the power of gratitude before all of this, because I had done research on it as a principal.

I edited it into our staff meetings. And then when all of this happened I come across this book that had this gratitude journal. It was a book about, um, a lady who had pancreatic cancer. Her husband had pancreatic cancer and she just happened to have this accompanying journal. And so I thought, well, I can't really read the book.

It was just too tender at the time, but I could do this journal. And I started doing it and I realized it felt good to just sit down at the end of the day and write down. A few things that I was grateful for, something that I did that was kind, and then kind of like recap at the end of the week, you know, what was the, what were my most [00:29:00] grateful moments?

And what I found out is the common thread was always it was about, you know, I was grateful for my kids. I was grateful for family. I was grateful for those connections. And so. And that little bit of doing something kind for someone every day too, really seemed to keep my mind on positive rather than the negatives.

I was always thinking during the day, okay, what am I going to read in my journal tonight? I've got to do some cool stuff. Think. You know, it was, it was, it was. And once I got into the habit, it just, it just took off. It just felt good. It truly, it, it's hard for some people to believe who don't do gratitude journaling.

Um, but it is like, it becomes this thing where you're looking for. The things that you're going to write about because you don't want to get to that point and have [00:30:00] nothing to write about. So I'm constantly Like throughout my day. Oh, yeah, I can write about that tonight or I can write about this in the morning, you know So it just shifts your you out of that Low point and as soon as I start to feel sad or low That is the first thing that I turn to is gratitude.

And it, it is like a switch for me. I don't know about for you, but it is for me for sure. Yes. Yeah. And that kind of came full circle. You know, I had kind of quit. As I started feeling better, I was still journaling, but not necessarily specifically for gratitude. It was more just, you know, recap of the day and maybe how some of my emotions were.

But then I noticed when I was getting really worked up about something or couldn't go to sleep at night, if I just sat and thought about how grateful I was even just [00:31:00] for this And that I'm in or that I'm warm or anything would just shift that and then I could go to sleep. So it has, you know, really changed the way that I deal with some of these really strong emotions that come.

So your book has, uh, talks a lot about spirituality, which. As I said earlier, I absolutely love because I'm on a beautiful spiritual journey as well, but not everybody is there. So some of my listeners might be skeptical, skeptical about energy healing or spiritual side of grief work. What would you say to someone who feels disconnected from these concepts but is still seeking healing in their [00:32:00] grief journey?

Well, it's good to try some things. I mean, you don't have to adopt if it doesn't feel right. I wouldn't do it, you know, but to just keep an open mind because there's a lot of things that I thought were maybe out of my scope or that I couldn't believe were really true and yet just over time and just through experience, a lot of those things I realized are much more natural than I thought, you know, the connecting with spirit and You know, I'm still not a full blown medium or anything like that, but I certainly do feel connection with spirit and I know those synchronicities [00:33:00] that come in and that life has a purpose and And the more I live more example I get so it's just you know Keeping an open mind and knowing that no one's You Forcing you to, to take in, we, we have to develop our own truth.

We can't just adopt someone else's. We really have to go inside. and figure out what is true for us and what we truly believe in. Yeah. And be strong and firm in that. So speaking of synchronicities, what are some of the big ones for you in your grief journey with Blaine? Well, the birds are huge. Which bird?

It's all about the birds. Well, the morning doves. are really special [00:34:00] because I think that was the first time that I recognized that was a true synchronicity because it kept happening every time I was writing in my journal. I couldn't, I couldn't deny it because I would, I would write and then I would hear this bird and I, it, it made me search for what type of birds so I could get the message.

Like it was just, There was no denying that one and it was super special and it still is every time I hear one. That is the bird that Um, absolutely speaks to my mother and it happened right after and still does after my brother passed away. The funny one, um, from your book is my grandma loves leaving dimes everywhere.

And I have a container of dimes in my [00:35:00] bedroom. But the funniest one. Like she is a hoot. Um, I was living in my condo and I was taking a shower and I looked down and there was a dime on the drain. I'm like, okay, there is no way that a dime would have got there. So you are funny grandma. Thank you. She just leaves them in the funniest places.

And honestly, I have one of those little pairs of, uh, hands, um, ceramic hands, praying hands, and I have all of her dimes in, in, in there. And she just, she makes me laugh, but she leaves them when I need her to. And one time I was having a, a really hard moment with my kids. We were traveling back from Edmonton and Yeah, it was one of those car rides [00:36:00] with kids.

I was just like. Get me out of here. So we stopped at a gas station to go to the washroom or something. I had to get away from them. I was like done. And I stepped out of the driver's side door and there was a dime like right there. And I was like, Oh, granny, thank you. I just needed that so bad in that moment to know that I was going to be okay.

And I'm a good mom. She had nine kids. So she was like, Hey, if I can do nine kids, you got this girlfriend. Oh, so yeah, I love the synchronicities and the signs and it just, it just gives you comfort that they are still there with us. Yeah. So beyond the spiritual practices, are there practical, I put that in quotes, um, everyday tools from your journey [00:37:00] that could resonate with listeners, whether or not they identify as spiritual?

Yeah. I mean, I talk about Mary Frances O'Connor because of the brain research, and I think gives up people a lot of comfort because We get really worried about ourselves when we can't, you know, when we think that they're going to come in the door, or we go to phone them, and we know they're gone, but your mind, it takes a while for it to catch up, takes a while for those pathways to redevelop, and so for me, it was always, you know, I counted myself as two all the time, and we go to restaurants, you know, the kids, before them, and I would say there's six, right, because Because Wayne was always there.

Mm hmm. He played so, because he was always there, right? And it took a long time for my mind to [00:38:00] get used to the fact that it was just me. And I really like her work because it's scientific and a lot of people can hang on to that. And um, if they're not into the spiritual thing, then that gives people a lot of comfort just knowing that it's normal.

It's normal. It just takes time to redevelop. What is her name again? Can you repeat that? Mary Frances O'Connor. Okay. Yeah. I interviewed her in one of my podcast episodes, and she's this fascinating lady. She's done so much research. Mm hmm. Okay. I will put a link to that in the show notes as well. Um, so in my Healing Heart Journey framework, use your voice is one of the pillars, and It encourages us to share our truth.

What was it like for you to begin sharing your story so [00:39:00] openly, and how has it shaped your healing? And was it hard for you to write your book? It was terrifying to start putting my writing online. And that's really where it started was, I was journaling and there was a couple of people that were working with me that said, you know, you should just put it out as a blog.

Just put it out there. What can it hurt, right? And famous last words. What can it hurt? Yeah, it's terrifying. You know what? I'm like you, like, you know, just. What if people hate it? You know, what if they, what if they criticize me? I don't know if I can handle it, right? Mm hmm. I remember pushing the submit button, you know, like just pushing it and then afterwards going What have I done?

Delete! Delete! Delete! Yep, [00:40:00] and as I started to get To write more about the spiritual stuff, that was kind of scary, too, because I didn't think other people would accept that from me. And I realized afterwards that, you know, it doesn't matter, because it's not about, um, but sharing your story is so cathartic, and so writing that book, you know, I would write it, and I would cry, And then I would read it out loud and it would give, it would give it even more power, right?

Like it was just, I would really cry. And like the ugly, the ugly cries. Yes. Yeah. Like the really guttural cries. Errants. By the time I got done editing that book, and you know how many times you have to read it over and edit to get it [00:41:00] to a roasting state. A lot. It's no longer charged anymore. I can tell my story and it's really, yeah, it's okay.

Yeah. So in your book you did reference automatic writing. Did you use any automatic writing in the book? Or is that. Something that you do outside of that process. I did do automatic writing, and I still do, I think. I think it's a natural thing for me, actually. I think it's just sometimes it just comes, especially if I'm writing a blog post or something, the newspaper article, and I sit down, it just seems like I kind of get into some kind of zone, and away I go, right?

Like, verbals comes, and I, and a lot of the book was that way, too. Mm hmm. It just fell together and I don't know, it just didn't. And I have a hard time explaining to people [00:42:00] what it is, but like when I, so some of my automatic writing is part of my book and I don't know. Don't know how, it was from my higher self, when I was reading it, I was just like, this is so much more wise, I guess, than this body.

It was so. So, so wise. And I was just like, holy smokes. What was that? I need to try doing that again. And I just kept doing it over and over and, I'm actually starting my second book at the end of January and I am going to definitely be using that practice again, probably for a big, big chunk of my book or, or all of it.

So for those who don't know what automatic writing is, I guess I would explain it [00:43:00] as just getting into like a relaxed meditative state where, I don't know about you, but I, I get into a deep sort of deep meditation with my eyes slightly open and a pen and paper and I just let my hand go. Is that how yours works as well, or are you a typer, or?

I'm, I type. Do you? Yeah. Um, at night when I journal, I definitely, you know, I'm just writing, but when I do my newspapers and my journals, I type. And I don't know, like sometimes it just seems like you say when you go back and read it. It's like, wow, that kind of sounds smart or just like I always are coming in and you're like, okay, where did that come from?

You know? Oh, [00:44:00] because sometimes I'll sit down and I'm like, I don't even know what I'm writing. Like, I have no idea what I, what's as you sit there and just kind of, Wait for it, then out it comes. It comes. Yeah. Yeah, like I said, I write so there's times where I'm like, uh, Whoever's writing this needs to be a little bit neater cuz I don't know what that says.

So Yeah, it's been I try and use lined paper So that my hand actually sticks to the line because if I don't it's awkward all over the place, but it's a really cool process and I was just so pleased to read that you do that as well because it's not something that everybody understands or I don't know, not accepts, but just understands, right?

That if you allow, if you, um, are just open, like you said, just open to [00:45:00] trying something, you never know what can come of it. So, okay, so grief is a physical, um, aspect as well as emotional. How did you learn to honor your body during this time and what practice helped you reconnect with yourself?

Because I know from my personal journey, grief has taken a beating on my body. Because I just didn't take care of myself. And now I'm finally at a place where I'm like, no, it's time. It's time to take care of this vessel now. How, how did that happen for you? Yeah, well, I got really thick, um, digestive issues really.

And and I mean, I talk about it in my book, but it came on gradually. [00:46:00] And at first, you know, you think all the things like, you know, well, I have. a stomach ulcer, maybe, or, you know, it's my gallbladder, or it's whatever, you know. But in the end, we always know that the body is trying to tell us something when there's pain and we need to touch it.

And we often don't. Or we just, we just say, you know what, I'll take, you know, I've got this headache. I'll just take a pill. Go away. Right? And not think about it. Why do I have the headache? What's the headache trying to tell me? Did I get enough sleep? Have I drank enough water? You know, there's all these things.

Why is this happening? And I guess, you know, I myself didn't realize the connection. until I had a session with Suzanne Alexander, and I talk about that in my book. Just [00:47:00] how she taught me to talk to my body and to comfort it in that space, and to realize that it's really just trying to tell me, you know, you need to do X, Y, Z, or you need to pay attention because things are not good here.

And I still do it. I think it's a, It's a human thing, you know, where today I was walking around, my knee was hurting, and I'm, you know, trying to just do my stuff, like, Or you can try to drip me up right now. And, you know, clearly there's something right there, right? And I have the books. And each of the parts usually mean something.

Yes, because if you're in this partying, then often it has the emotional effect of some kind. There's some kind of reason that is attached to that. And so you can get some insights on what's happening before it becomes, you know, chronic. [00:48:00] Or, the body will continue to scream louder and louder. Until you It absolutely will.

Uh, joy is another one of my pillars, but that is something that can feel so far away when you're grieving. Can you share a moment when you first felt that spark of joy again and what that spark taught you about healing?

When did I feel it? I think there was just a little moment. You know, just little tiny moments. I would say when Benson was born, there was pure joy. You know, when I went into that hospital and I held him, I just cried. I mean, it was just so amazing to hold a grandchild and, and oh yeah, there was loads of joy there.

[00:49:00] And at the same time, you know, I had that sadness that was alongside of it. Now, it's just pure joy. I mean, when he comes, it's just pure joy. Yeah. For a while there, I had to hold both, right?

And though they can, they can be together, joy and sadness, they can exist together. And we, it's almost like we get a little bit scared about that or that it shouldn't be like that. You know, it's like we catch ourselves in joy and think, oh. Well, I can't be joyful at the same time as I'm sad, or I used to think, well, this is ruining my joy.

Having this sadness is ruining my joy, racially. I need to get rid of the sadness so I can just have pure joy. And I had to learn that, you know. That [00:50:00] sadness is there for a time. There's no knowing when it's going to leave, but when it's there, I have to let it in and have to. Feel it until it's ready to go.

Exactly. So your work and your book honor the legacy of your husband Blaine so beautifully. How does his memory inspire what you do today? And what do you hope readers and clients take away from your beautiful story? Blaine was very social. He was Outgoing, he loved people, he loved kids, he loves sports.

And so I find myself when I'm doing this work, meeting new people every day, you know, like [00:51:00] today we meet each other and find out, hey, we're, you know, we're raised in the towns literally just. So close. Yes. Or it's like you meeting these people and you're finding out there's so many cool connections. We're all related and connected in some way.

And it's just proven to me time and time again. And so I've got this joy of meeting new people, finding about, finding out about their story that Blaine, and, I never really embraced that before he passed away. I never really understood it. He was the outgoing one. I just watched him do his thing, you know.

Uh huh. Yeah. So I think about that and I mean this weekend we are going back to Valmarie and we're going to hold a memorial curling bonds field. Oh [00:52:00] fun, fun, fun. Were you guys both curlers? Yeah, we were. I had, of course, with the school, I was coaching curling, or let's just say I was managing the curling and he was coaching the kids.

Yeah. And it was such, we had such fun doing that together. And he just loved, and he loved curling. He loved all sports. He loved hockey. He was a Rough Rider fan too. Yes, he was. Yes. Yes. He still is. He still is. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. And so, yeah, these things are fun now, you know, to be able to remember him and to go back to the community and to celebrate his life and what he loved and to do what he loved.

You know, I think that's, that's what I want people to take away, that [00:53:00] there's hope to be joyful again, that there's hope for life to be fulfilling again. And it really, you get meaning through your loved one. There is meaning there and it's, because the life they lived, um, I want to say, you're carrying on the legacy, right?

You're But you're doing that in your way. I love that. And I hope you guys have the best time this weekend in this, it's a bond spiel or like a tournament or like a fun spiel, fun spiel. I hope you have the best time, memorializing him and especially where you guys spent the weekend. Uh, the majority of your marriage.

So, I end every interview asking my guests what they are grateful for today, because like we've talked about, there is always something to be grateful for. [00:54:00] What are you grateful for today? I'm grateful that my higher self knew. That this was the path I needed to go on and that I had enough support and people to help me realize that I needed to step on this path.

Mm hmm. You know, and that I truly believe my higher self sent the people that I needed at the time when I needed exactly when I needed it. My higher self, bling, my angels, guides, whoever, those people show up just like you at the perfect time for me and for you. And it's just so beautiful. That synchronicity is so beautiful and I'm so grateful for it.

Mm hmm. I am getting really good at listening to my intuition. [00:55:00] And I got a nudge that said, you need to read Angela's book. And so I downloaded it on my Kindle. And literally I was like, what? She's Balmory, Cyprus. The whole time I was like, what, are you kidding me right now?

So it was so cool to actually read another author's book that I can actually picture you living in Maple Creek, Saskatchewan and all of those things. Right. And driving to Cyprus down the road. And so it was. It was just so cool to read that, but it was so good to read a book that I know I can recommend to so many people in this type of grief journey.

So thank you so much for that. I am going to bring up how people [00:56:00] can get in touch with you. So, check out Angela at Instagram. There is her Instagram handle and then her website and what, sort of things can people work with you on? Well, I do one on one. I have a one on one program, it's a 12 week program that people can sign up for. Okay. I also have that support group. I do angel readings, and so if people are interested in that, I do that as well.

And then there's some meditations on the site. , if people want to start a book club and they want to use my book, I have some questions and things there to go along with the book and I will do, free 30 minute sessions with your group if you want me to do that. Yeah, there's and my podcast of course is all on and your podcast name is Awaken your soul's journey [00:57:00] Embracing grief as a pathway to transformation and it is so good.

You guys need to check it out Could you hold up your book for me? That is right beside you Yeah, there it is. Oh There it is. Yep. Awesome Such a good book. I cannot recommend that one enough for anybody going through a grief journey. So thank you so much for sharing your story with us and just, like I said, just using your voice and having the courage to tell your story because the more that we tell our story, the more people understand that they are not alone.

They are not alone in some of the hard stuff that we do have to face. And so, Just really grateful for, for you and for our connection, [00:58:00] um, and just for this talk. So thank you very much. Thank you so much for having me and thank you for what you do. Appreciate it.

Thanks for being here for this episode of Hard Beautiful Journey. I hope today's episode inspired you to embrace your own vulnerabilities and recognize the strength within you. Remember every story of resilience adds to the beauty of our shared journey. If you enjoyed this episode, please like subscribe and leave a review.

Your support helps me spread hope and healing to even more listeners until next time. Keep shining your light and embracing the beauty in your journey. Bye bye.