Beyond the Near-Death Experience: Ash Perrow on Overcoming Trauma, Finding Purpose, and Living from the Heart

Ash Perrow Interview

Intro/Outro: [00:00:00] Welcome to hard, beautiful journey where we embrace vulnerability as our superpower and let courage light our path. I'm Tiff Carson here to share heartfelt stories of healing grief and resilience. Each week, I'll talk with guests from experts to everyday heroes. About their journeys through adversity together.

We'll uncover the beauty that emerges from life's challenges and how each experience can spark profound growth. Join us on this courageous journey of connection and transformation.

Tiff Carson Hey there, welcome back to Hard Beautiful Journey. Today I am joined by Ash Perrow and I can't wait for us all to hear his story of transformation, resilience, and purpose. surviving a near death experience and overcoming PTSD and depression, Ash has dedicated his life to guiding others beyond their inner critic and into a [00:01:00] life of fulfillment. His journey aligns beautifully with the healing heart journey framework where healing, self discovery, and finding one's voice are key pillars. we're diving deep. And not just into his story, but into the wisdom he's gained about choosing life, living with purpose, and embracing those moments that define us. isn't just an interview. It's going to be an opportunity to explore how we can all rise beyond our turning points create lives that matter. Welcome to the show. Ash, how are you?

Ash Perrow Very well. Thank you, Tiff. What a beautiful introduction. It's so nice to be on podcasts and hear the introduction when people do them. It's just extraordinary. So thank you.

Tiff Carson Oh, you're so welcome. As you can tell, my guest is from beautiful Australia. And we were just discussing [00:02:00] the drastic difference in our temperatures right now. It is minus 35 Celsius here and plus 35 Celsius where Ash is. So we decided we're going to meet in the middle today. We're just going to pretend it's zero because he doesn't have air conditioning and I'm freezing, right? Is that what we're doing?

Ash Perrow Sounds good. Sounds good.

Tiff Carson All right. So before we dive into your journey, I want to start with what I think is a simple but powerful question. If someone met you today without knowing your past, what would you want? What would you want them to understand about who you are and why you do what you do now?

Ash Perrow Great question, Tiff. I listened to a couple of your podcast episodes and you always ask really good, insightful first questions. What would I want them to [00:03:00] know about me or feel about me, correct? I think just that here's someone that's really present with me.

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: just that he's someone that's really present with me.

Ash Perrow He's somebody that's not trying to change me or fix me. They're just here to love me and see me. And I think that's just such a powerful thing for all of us is with deep presence when someone just sees us and they can feel us and you know, when we activate the heart space and come into the heart space and that there's There's something different about being truly in presence with somebody.

And so that's what I would like somebody to perceive, but, um, you know, for the, not just for me, but for both of us, that there's an exchange of deep presence.

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: Mm hmm.

Tiff Carson now let's say they, uh, they have heard your podcast, um, and they know a little bit more about you.

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: My listener[00:04:00]

Tiff Carson not know your journey and one of them is a near death experience. Do you want to talk to us a little bit about your journey to where you are now?

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: Hmm. Yeah.

Ash Perrow Yeah. I think. In my lifetime, I feel like I've already lived nine, nine lives already. It's, it's extraordinary. And it's life just keeps opening up more and more beauty and more and more different ways of being and living in life and experiencing life. Um, but one of the experiences was having a near death experience.

And that came from a surfing injury, surfing. And, uh, that, that injury actually came from not listening to. And in a guidance moment that I had where a voice in my head told me, if you go surfing, you will hurt your back

Tiff Carson Really?

Ash Perrow really, and I was at.

Tiff Carson say, you heard your inner voice say not today, not today.

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: Yeah.

Ash Perrow It was like God's voice in my head, [00:05:00] and it said very clearly, very concisely, If you go surfing today, you will hurt your back. That, that's exactly what it said. And I had been on holidays for a couple of weeks. I was camping and surfing every day, which

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: you know,

Ash Perrow up until that point, I'd surfed almost every day for 25 years.

And I just loved it. And my back was getting sore during the week. And I was aware I did not want to go back to my job.

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: it.

Ash Perrow I was over my job

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: at,

Ash Perrow when I started it. I loved it, but I was at the point where I was a school teacher and it was getting harder and harder to recover. And it was also not as rewarding as it used to be.

And I, I refused to, to change, even though I tried to leave teaching a few times, I kept coming back to it and I wasn't happy. And so in that moment, I chose a back injury rather than go back to work. And of course, you know, I, I wasn't very good at listening to my inner guidance, [00:06:00] right?

Tiff Carson Yeah,

Ash Perrow and, you know,

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: aren't.

Ash Perrow Yes.

And I, and after that I thought, okay, I'm going to be, I'm going to listen to my inner guidance now. So what happened was the surf was, was big, there was nobody else out. I was like, great, I've got this to myself, this is going to be brilliant. And I heard the voice and I thought, I'm going out anyway. And so I dived through the first wave with my board and then I was paddling towards second and I went to dive through that.

And I popped two discs in my back. So what happened was, so, so they released from the vertebrae were pressing on my nerves in my back. Uh, I, I, it was immense pain. I was the only person out there.

Tiff Carson yeah.

Ash Perrow I had to. Paddle back in with one arm and then when I got back into shore, I, I couldn't move. I was just standing up in, in almost waist deep water holding onto my board as the waves were coming through.

And somebody saw me and they ran down and helped me get up the beach, which took about half an hour just to go about 50 meters. [00:07:00] Uh, and so for a year and a half, I was trying to heal my back naturally. And eventually my discs had deteriorated so badly that surgery was my only option.

Tiff Carson Mm hmm. Oh, my Lord. So in that moment, when you felt that pain happening in that near death experience, a lot of people might assume that that event alone might change somebody. we know that healing is a choice. Can you take us to that exact moment that you consciously decided to live differently and what that first step looked like for you?

Was it that moment?

Ash Perrow So, One would think so, but I, I was very stubborn in

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: my

Ash Perrow my, my mind had this idea of what life should be like.

Tiff Carson Mm

Ash Perrow And so I was in a relationship that wasn't working. We had a blended family. I was doing work I [00:08:00] wasn't happy with and I was basically living life for other people and not myself.

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: and

Ash Perrow experience didn't break that pattern.

And so I had back surgery during the surgery. The surgeons tore a vein. And they didn't know, uh, they stitched me back up, sent me back to the ward, so,

Tiff Carson Yeah.

Ash Perrow and, and, and during the night I was in a lot of pain, the nurses kept saying, press the fentanyl button, and so I kept pressing the button for pain relief.

And then in the morning, the physio came in, and he was very young. He was just fresh out of college, and he said to me, Okay, let's get you up for rehab. Sit on the edge of the bed. And I sat on the edge of the bed, and I looked down at my leg, and my leg was about twice the size. So my thigh was about twice the size it normally is.

And I said to him, My leg's not normally like this.

Tiff Carson Mm

Ash Perrow he said, Oh, that's okay. Just stand up and, and we'll, we'll get you [00:09:00] moving. So I stood up and straight away I collapsed and he, I was laying on the bed. I looked over to my left and I saw him run and press the medical emergency button. I heard the alarm go off.

The medical team came running in. They started to attach the

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: Oxygen

Ash Perrow mask and the ECG monitors. And I could hear them saying the monitors aren't sticking because I was just bathed in this cold sweat. Um, and I kept thinking, I'll be all right, I'll be all right. And then I could hear them talking about my blood pressure, and they're saying he's got no pulse, he's not breathing, and my blood pressure, I could hear them saying it's going lower, and I could hear them saying the amounts,

Tiff Carson Yeah.

Ash Perrow when

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: when

Ash Perrow said his blood pressure is 52 on 36, I thought, Oh, okay, I'm in trouble right now, I'm in trouble.

Tiff Carson Yeah.

Ash Perrow And it continued to progress. And I was saying, keep your eyes open, stay with us. And it was very [00:10:00] difficult to stay conscious.

Tiff Carson Yeah.

Ash Perrow I remember

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: thinking,

Ash Perrow this is dying. I I'm dying right now. I'm dying. And then I had this just immense sadness, just real, like could feel it in my body. And it was. Nobody I love is here with me.

I'm dying and no one I love is in the room. And then the last moment was I looked over at the physio who was in the left hand corner at the foot of my bed and he just looked so frightened. And I thought, you poor guy, you think you've killed me?

Tiff Carson Mm

Ash Perrow And then that's when I blacked out. And so my experience then was I became ripples.

So instead of fainting and just having no consciousness, anything like that, I was ripples and these ripples were just going out infinitely, non stop. And so I was the ripples. It's, it's hard to explain in, in words, but I was the ripples, the [00:11:00] ripples were me, and I was just going out and out and out. And I was shocked that I could still think.

I thought, okay, I I've gone here, wherever here is,

Tiff Carson Yeah.

Ash Perrow I still felt like myself. So I had no physical pain. I had no emotional suffering, but I felt like myself

Tiff Carson Yeah.

Ash Perrow then that surprised me. I was like, Oh, wow. Okay. And so that, you know, just that experience in itself, phenomenal impact on my life post near death experience.

Um, and eventually. I started to say, so I, these ripples going out, and I started to say, I want to stay.

Tiff Carson yeah,

Ash Perrow my partner, and I was still the ripples going out. I want to stay for the children. And once again, I was still the ripples just going out and out and out. And then I felt this very subtle warmth come over me.

And it was, it was very surreal. I said, I want to stay for [00:12:00] the work that I do and walk the planet from my heart. so much. And the instant I expressed that back into my body, I opened my eyes, I could hear them saying, he's got a, we've got a pulse, he's breathing, and I was in a level, level 11 pain, just extraordinary pain because I'd lost so much blood, it was pressing on my organs.

Uh, and so that was, that was the turning point where I say, okay, now I'm going to wake up.

Tiff Carson So you describe them as ripples. Some people describe it as seeing like a bright light. Did you see that as well?

Ash Perrow No. No, so, I didn't see a light.

Tiff Carson Wow, that is so, so I'm trying to visualize what it looked like for you. And did it feel like you were going somewhere or that you're like, it's so cool. I'm actually looking

Ash Perrow Mm.

Tiff Carson watching on Gaia, you know, the [00:13:00] network

Ash Perrow Mm hmm.

Tiff Carson everything around near death experiences right now, and I just find them. Absolutely fascinating. it always seems to be when, when people come back they have said something like you did, where I want to live in my heart space. I want to show what I'm actually here to do. I'm ready to do that now. Is that what you felt and what you experienced?

Ash Perrow So, when I came back I was very, very, very ill. It took me eight months to get back to work. Um, but I

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: I was

Ash Perrow laying in the ICU and I was thinking, did I, did that just happen?

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: Did,

Ash Perrow Did this just, Oh, I, I, I wasn't living from my heart. I thought I was, Oh,

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: so

Ash Perrow what does that mean?

Tiff Carson hmm. Mm [00:14:00] hmm. Mm

Ash Perrow you know, I could take this as.

Tiff Carson hmm.

Ash Perrow a coincidence that I had this thought process and the instant of that that came back into my body or I can actually acknowledge that something really extraordinary just happened and I'm going to take that moment, take my experience and trust it.

I'm going to learn how to live from my heart. I'm going to learn what that means. And, and so for all of us, it's like the questions that we have. So we have a picture in our head, what life should be like, and then the questions of how we get to that picture. That's what drives our, our behaviors. So

Tiff Carson Absolutely.

Ash Perrow yeah.

So my question, I

Tiff Carson bed, is that when you were questioning, like for, it was eight months you were questioning, or was it early on in your healing that you were like, okay, no, this [00:15:00] is what I, what I'm going to be doing now?

Ash Perrow questioned it for months and then I got to a point and thought, hang on a second, if I just fainted, I wouldn't have been able to think.

Tiff Carson Mm

Ash Perrow And that was a real moment of acceptance, like, okay, I'm just going to trust my experience. When I talked to the doctor, he said, Oh, no, no, you were fine. You gave us a bit of a fright, but you were fine.

I talked to a friend of mine that's worked in emergency for 20 years. And he was like, he said, Whoa, dude, you went as close as you could possibly have gone.

Tiff Carson hmm.

Ash Perrow And

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: and

Ash Perrow so I just decided to trust that that experience occurred and that My, I took it as a contract. I went, okay, this is my contract. This was the contract for coming back to earth was that I'm going to stay for walking.

I'm going, I'm going to walk the planet from my heart and stay for the work that I do. I'm not quite sure what the work is. So I'm going to start with my heart. What does it mean to live from my heart?

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: and

Ash Perrow was a [00:16:00] process, you know, it's always ongoing. Yeah. Cause I, I'm still a human with human conditioning and things like that.

Uh, But

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: But

Ash Perrow that was, that was the focus. How do I live from my heart? And so that, that enveloped my first few years after the near death experience. What does it mean to live from the heart?

Tiff Carson So you decided to start living in your heart, Was it mainly working your own healing or did you go to healing yourself and working with other people?

Because I know on my healing journey, I cannot even think about helping other people. And I actually took a break from my podcast, I took a break from everything to focus on my own stuff. How did that work for you? I don't know.

Ash Perrow So for me, and I, in hindsight, I can, you know, [00:17:00] the foundation of taking care of ourself enables us to care for others. And so, and,

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: and

Ash Perrow If we're taking care of ourselves, we're more able to do our purpose.

Tiff Carson Mm hmm.

Ash Perrow So for me, initially it was okay. What does it mean to live from my heart? I'd done some personal work earlier with

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: an

Ash Perrow called the path of love.

who do retreats in, in 20 countries, including the US, I'm pretty sure Canada, uh, the UK, Australia, New Zealand, Bali, India,

Tiff Carson Mm

Ash Perrow it, Russia, they do it, they do it in many, many countries. It's phenomenal work. And I'd done some of their sort of like, taster, taster experiences. So I thought, okay, I'm going to go do this week long retreat called the path of love.

That's where I'm going to learn how to live from my heart. And I did, I did. It was, it's a phenomenal process. Anybody that,

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: you know,

Ash Perrow anybody that's trying to navigate [00:18:00] their way in life and is feeling stuck or confused, the path of love, amazing, amazing.

Tiff Carson a little sample of what you did there to, and like, what you experienced?

Ash Perrow So you do deep personal work, you do group work where you're working with others, meditation, dance, movement, and it's, it's a deep inquiry into

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: what

Ash Perrow is happening into your life and being able to connect with others and share what's happening for you so that you learn the power of vulnerability

Tiff Carson Mm hmm.

Ash Perrow and the power of, of your true self.

All right, this is, this is something to connect you to your true self. And there's nothing like it anywhere else in the world.

Tiff Carson hmm. So, a big part of my healing journey as well was just, you

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: being vulnerable

Tiff Carson and allowing myself to [00:19:00] be vulnerable and I found that once I was, I, I just felt so much, um, shame around some stuff just be released where it opened up my heart to

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: have,

Tiff Carson I don't know, just a lot more room for other things and being able to help other people.

So I'm very happy to hear that that was part of the journey for you is that piece of vulnerability. Cause it is so important. It's so important in that healing journey. Um, Have you, so in your, in your journey, you did experience PTSD and depression. What is one belief about mental health that you had to completely unlearn in order to heal?

Was there something around mental health and and depression that was like something you were taught when you were [00:20:00] growing up and that you had to unlearn it?

Ash Perrow For me It was that I could heal. The doctor said, you have this for life.

Tiff Carson Mm.

Ash Perrow You'll, you'll always need to be medicated. And the medication wasn't working for me. It just wasn't working. And I had this voice in my head that kept saying, go natural, go natural. Go natural. And so now when I, and that worked for me, right?

I found an amazing holistic doctor who was using, at that point, groundbreaking integrative health practices.

Tiff Carson hmm.

Ash Perrow they're much more common. So this was 15 years ago and that worked for me. Having great therapists, all those, and I, I went off the medication very, very quickly.

Tiff Carson Did

Ash Perrow It was just, Yeah, yeah, which, you know, I know that's, you know, I have friends that are on medication and, and they, they actually need that to be able to function in life and have tried.

And so [00:21:00] acknowledging we all have our different paths,

Tiff Carson Absolutely.

Ash Perrow me, I had that voice. And so a little quantum thing to play with is. You can picture that past version of yourself in suffering,

Tiff Carson Mm hmm.

Ash Perrow think of myself in that moment, those moments of suffering,

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: I

Ash Perrow go natural, go natural, go natural.

So I'm reinforcing that voice, which might've been coming from my future self already.

Tiff Carson Yeah. Oh, wow.

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: Oh,

Tiff Carson I love that. I love that. Um, so I talk about Dancing in the Rain. my, the title of my book. Finding joy even when life absolutely feels impossible. How do you help people that you work with find purpose and joy in their hardest seasons when

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: All

Tiff Carson want to do is give up? [00:22:00] I've been in those moments where cannot even think about going on anymore. What is some advice that you can give to people?

Ash Perrow What comes to mind is, and I shared this today on my social media is, there's

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: there's

Ash Perrow head that we think from, and there's a heart that we feel from. Right? The head is judgmental, impatient, harsh. The heart, generous, kind, compassionate, loving, patient. And so it's like, ah, okay. The head is really going to hammer you sometimes.

It's really going to demoralize you and push you down. But the heart is like this furnace that's still burning there, even if you can't feel it. And it's trusting that your heart is going to come through. There's the reason for going through whatever we're going through is to reconnect with who we truly are.

And that's the heart. The heart [00:23:00] is this, this power place that we can operate from. Say, ah, when I come into the heart. Ah, okay. So all those practices like journaling and meditation and nature and exercise and reading and, and whatever it is, art, what dance, whatever fills it up for us,

Tiff Carson Mm

Ash Perrow that connects you to your heart.

Tiff Carson hmm. Mm

Ash Perrow The more connected to your heart.

Tiff Carson Mm

Ash Perrow are, the less the mind is going to try and run the show. So the, your mind is a tool, right? So you have this amazing podcast, you have your seven pillars, you know, that these come from the heart and the mind's job is to help you deliver that message, not to judge the message, if it's right or wrong, right?

The heart has already told you. So the mind is the tool. And so if we can stay connected that the mind is the tool at times, it's going to just try and crush me. But I still have this [00:24:00] heart that has this infinite power that's, that comes from me. It is me. And that, that experience in my near death experience of, of experiencing my true nature.

We all have our own unique true nature. It's always there. And so just learning, you know, how does our mind work? What are our triggers? How does our physiology work? What do we need to do to take care of our physiology?

Tiff Carson Mm

Ash Perrow it's similar for all of us, but, but can be very different.

Tiff Carson hmm.

Ash Perrow So I was like, okay, when we know ourselves, we can be ourselves.

And when we be ourselves, we'll back ourselves.

Tiff Carson Mm hmm.

Ash Perrow we back ourselves, we get to know ourselves even more deeply. And that creates this cycle of, of prosperity and abundance and confidence. Whereas if we stopped learning about ourselves. Then we're going to put a hard stop on that cycle. So, so [00:25:00] in

Tiff Carson it's so interesting just talking about the heart that is on my podcast cover. That symbol of side is ash, which is your name and one side is whole and there's a bright light between them, them back together when you've had a hard, beautiful journey and just come back to your heart and it will heal.

come back together and be stronger. And like you said, it can be any like writing, drawing, painting, dancing, singing. All of those things are different for every person, but I found one of the things that brought me back to my heart was actually writing. I never in a million years growing up thought I was a writer. Like never, [00:26:00] and it was when I listened to, not just here, to my, like my inner knowing and in my heart, I'm supposed to start writing and that's when I really found my purpo my purpose, um, I got more, um, clarity around my podcast. Um, that is when my seven pillars came to be, was when I actually went into my heart and I listened and I listened and I heard, these are the things that you need to talk to people about.

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: So

Tiff Carson it's beautiful that you brought that up. And um, one of the things that I also to do, I stopped now, um, but I found joy in it was drumming. Um, I took some drumming lessons I know that you're also a musician [00:27:00] and creativity is such a powerful healing force. But so many people just take those things as a hobby. How do you see music as a tool for healing and helping people on that journey?

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: So in

Ash Perrow 2005, I had a stillborn daughter with my, my ex wife. And

Tiff Carson I'm

Ash Perrow we were in the hospital afterwards. Thank you. Thank you. Um, extraordinary gift to experience that in, in life to have this beautiful angel that I can connect with that he just loves me.

Tiff Carson Mm

Ash Perrow But you know, heartbreaking too, right?

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: The

Tiff Carson Very.

Ash Perrow hard, beautiful, hard, beautiful journey, you know, life can be hard, but there's so much beauty.

And we were in the hospital And my wife had had a caesarean, so we needed to be there for a few days so she could heal. [00:28:00] And I would sit in the waiting room and play my guitar. And that was the only relief I felt from just the overwhelming grief and guilt. I had guilt that I, you know, wasn't rational, but that I should have prevented that happening.

Um, And music was the only relief from that. And something that came out of that was, uh, well,

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: you know,

Ash Perrow I'm not going to be a dad right now, so I'm going to start playing live music because my plan was just to be a dad. I wasn't going to go be a musician. I played music a lot at home, but I wasn't going to go be a musician.

And coming out of that, I thought, okay, well, um, I need to do something. Okay. I'll start playing, playing down at the markets.

Tiff Carson hmm.

Ash Perrow And. Phenomenal things happened. I started playing at the markets and got booked for all these gigs, ended up with all these guitar students. Um, my ex wife and I had [00:29:00] another daughter within 11 months, which was, you know, that was a shock in itself.

We weren't quite ready, but that's what the universe had planned for us.

Tiff Carson Yeah.

Ash Perrow And then, you know, I started, uh, one day I was playing at the markets and this guy came up to me and said, Oh, I really love how you play music. Can I sing a song with you? And I was like, sure. And so the second song he was singing.

Somebody came up and booked us for a gig. And from that, it just exploded. We, we got booked for lots of gigs. We were playing festivals. We're getting radio play all through Australia, through Europe, and it was mind blowing and, and it started. In that devastation in the waiting room in the hospital playing music.

Tiff Carson Mm hmm. how I started drumming. I got a, call them downloads. I got a message from my brother who passed away

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: that

Tiff Carson wanted me to learn Enter Sandman

Ash Perrow Yeah.

Tiff Carson by [00:30:00] Metallica.

Ash Perrow Yeah.

Tiff Carson a drum kit that I got for Christmas a few years earlier. I'm like, Oh, you're funny. All right. find a drum. or teacher and so I found one and I went and I learned and I, I didn't learn it completely, but I did pretty good. And I found even just in that experience, connecting with my brother even more and healing from the trauma. That grief even more because there was laughter and there was like there was just silliness and my drum instructor happened to be One of the funniest guys I've ever met. So we just had like this great time together, right?

So Um, it's amazing when you actually, um, listen to those voices or those your intuition, um, what can come of it. And you got booked on a whole bunch of gigs. So just by picking up that guitar and, and [00:31:00] doing that during a really hard moment in your life led to so much more beauty, right?

Ash Perrow Yeah, absolutely

Tiff Carson after that. changing experience or your near death experience, those kind of things can shift relationships

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: relationships

Tiff Carson drastically. How did your relationships change after that experience? And what do you think is the key to building conscious, fulfilling connections now? Mm hmm. Mm

Ash Perrow So I was in hospital for three and a half weeks And then three weeks after I got out of hospital the relationship split up. Um and I remember thinking at the time, you know Something like this an experience like that near death experience. It's either going to Make your relationship work [00:32:00] Or it's going to destroy it.

It's going to And that's what happened. Um, now I can go, Okay, you know, in hindsight, that was the universe guiding me, saying, You weren't listening to your heart. But there was something in me that knew that things had to change. I didn't know that the relationship had to end. But my, my thought was, okay, the relationship has to change, but it, it ended.

And so my daughter and I, we moved out and we started life again and I didn't even have a bed. I didn't have anything other than some music gear, uh, a couple of kitchen items. My daughter had her toys in her bedroom, furniture and things like that. And my health was very bad. I had to get friends to come and help me to move out.

And life just started from zero,

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: you know,

Ash Perrow zero health, zero possessions, and it was such a gift to recreate life.

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: Um,

Ash Perrow and, and now

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: [00:33:00] you know,

Ash Perrow I've been married, I've been with somebody now for almost eight years, coming up to eight years. And it's beautiful. So beautiful. We, we both, we, we actually met on the Path of Love retreat, right?

It's not about,

Tiff Carson Oh,

Ash Perrow it's not about finding your partner, right? It's about connecting to yourself and experience the magnificence of yourself, which is there for all of us. But we, we connected there and we didn't have anything to do with each other for a few months. And then we, we connected again and we've been together ever since.

And it's been just beautiful. There's vulnerability and connection. There's understanding around how to communicate. There's ability to hold space for each other and, and that, you We're not responsible for each other. We both have challenges in life,

Tiff Carson Mm

Ash Perrow but we don't have to fix it. We just have to, like we said at the beginning, right?

Be present with each other. Just be present and love that person through whatever they're going through and [00:34:00] they're clever. They're, they're powerful, they're gonna work it out, that, my wife doesn't need me to tell her how to live her life, she just needs me to love her.

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Ash Perrow And it's the same for me. And it's extraordinary the power we can feel when somebody just loves us.

Tiff Carson I'm trying not to ugly cry right now.

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: Um.

Tiff Carson yeah, I don't know how well it's going to work, but you said a phrase that is in my book. Oh, okay. I'm not going to ugly cry. I'm not going to ugly cry.

Ash Perrow I don't know if there is such a thing as ugly crying. You know, something about, something about tears, it makes your eyes glassy. And it's like, if you look at, at plants when it's raining, they have this beautiful shine on them. It's the same with the eyes.

Tiff Carson You said love her through [00:35:00] it. And that's what I did with my brother he passed away, is I chose. I actually heard God tell me. was on a beach in North Carolina and he, I heard him say, love him through it. And when I came home, I made that choice to love my brother through his struggles and through his addictions and, through all of it. And it was what changed our relationship. And us back together after 35 years of a really difficult relationship. Um, sorry. So I'm just so, um, it just makes me so happy to hear you say those words too, they're so [00:36:00] important. They are so important to love people through their stuff, um, through their journey. Um, you don't have to fix them. And that's what I also decided with my brother. I'm not going to fix him anymore. I'm not going to try and change him and be, get him to be who I, I want him to be. I just want to love him through it and let him lead his own, live his own journey. And when I made that choice, like he felt it. And it wasn't, I never even told him I was going to do it. It was just in my heart and he could feel it. so, yeah, loving people through their stuff is so beautiful and something that I wish I could encourage other people to do more.

Ash Perrow Yeah. And I imagine that's what you [00:37:00] do with your work too. It's a loving, you know, as a coach,

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Ash Perrow my job is to believe in people more than they believe in themselves.

Tiff Carson Yep.

Ash Perrow and if, if I can just do that, is just believe in somebody and offer perspectives or help them get clarity, I'm not fixing it. They're responsible for their lives, but with, with that perspective around just loving someone through it, you're, you're both free.

You're both free. They're free to find their way and experience who they are, truly. And so are you. And of course, it connects you to your heart.

Tiff Carson Yep.

Ash Perrow There's so much we can try and control, but it connects you to your heart. And for me, I had a near death experience. Actually, we don't die. We might change how we exist, but fundamentally it's a more pure form of our, of who we truly are.

So, I can love. [00:38:00] I know that life's gonna end. It could end in five minutes, or it could end in 55 years, or even 100 years.

Tiff Carson Mm hmm.

Ash Perrow I can love my way through it, I'm going to be dying at the point where I go, actually, you know what? I turned up in that life. I really took on challenges. I lived the life that I wanted to live, even if I was afraid, even if I didn't know the outcome, that life, that was one worth living.

I'm putting that down in my book, right? My book of life.

Tiff Carson Yeah.

Ash Perrow I'm putting that one down that that was a good life. I woke up and I, I really stood up for who I am and, and really just kept loving myself all the way through and showing up for myself.

Tiff Carson Mm hmm. Yeah. And that is something that in my own healing journey and in like over the last four or five years, I'm [00:39:00] so grateful for my own, um, waking up and, knowing that, I, I want to be able to look at my book of lives and say, this one was awesome. one I, I, I, I showed up, yeah.

Ash Perrow I know what it's like to die without the feeling of having shown up. That was one of the contrasts was, was afterwards like, Oh, I wasn't living life to my full potential. What was stopping me? Yeah. Ah, okay. And so that's been the work the last eight years. What's stopping me? How can I facilitate other people to actually live this extraordinary life?

Which is their version, not my version. They're the expert on their life. And yeah, it's just so beautiful to live life that way.

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Tiff Carson you do coach people on living a more fulfilling life in quotes, [00:40:00] that phrase gets thrown around quite a bit. But what does that actually mean to you, living a more fulfilling life? And if someone listening feels empty or stuck, where should they begin living a more fulfilling life?

Ash Perrow So two things come to mind. One is, fulfillment comes from completion, so when we complete things, be it getting out of bed, be it exercising, be it playing the drums, whatever it might be, it's a, when you complete that, there's a sense of fulfillment. Fulfillment creates momentum. Momentum can, is a powerful, powerful force.

So if someone's at their lowest, lowest point, Okay, smaller steps. What's your smallest step? Ah, okay, maybe it's to book in and go see somebody that can help you. Okay, complete that. You're [00:41:00] on the road to fulfillment. And the other is trusting yourself, right? That, that's, as in our upbringing, we are taught not to trust ourselves, media, parents, schools, whatever it might be, we're taught not to trust ourselves.

Yet we have this phenomenal inner guidance. And so one of the things in, in my, my link is that there's a free PDF connecting to your inner guidance. So, okay. That, that's been one of the biggest changes for me was learning to trust myself. So many times in my life I was right all along, but I didn't trust myself.

So that, that's part of the work that with people is, okay, what's your inner guide telling you? Okay, what are the steps to completing the mission of your heart? And then we're going to connect him with fulfillment and joy and all those things that we want and get a sense of our own inner power, which is always [00:42:00] there.

It's always there. Okay, let's get the momentum.

Tiff Carson That is exactly how I feel. My first book came to be was those two things, was completion and trusting. And like I said, I never in a million years thought that I could write or write a book. And it started with the idea that, okay, I, I think I can write a book. And then it started with an outline

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Tiff Carson pushing myself. to complete chapter one. And once I completed chapter one, I was like, I completed a chapter. What the heck? I, and like trusting that I could actually keep going. Right. And so, yeah, like actually getting through, [00:43:00] That next chapter and, or I even set up this thing with the amount of words that I wanted to write for, by a certain date and like completing those, that goal of the number of words that I had down. I was blown away by how proud I was of actually completing something that I actually said I wanted to now do. it, the trust part did, take a little bit longer. Um, I think it was because of the content of the book and like really knowing that, okay, I, I want to put this out into the world, right?

That, that trust took a bit longer, but once I made the decision, I trusted in its message and I trusted in what I know, the people that I knew that it was going to help. I trusted in the message. That overall message, so, I [00:44:00] completely agree with completion is a big one because now it's leading to other things that I want to complete, right?

And I find my life has become way more fulfilling because I'm doing all of this other stuff that I never in a million years thought I'd be doing. Like book signings and, you know, like, it's crazy. I love that you're doing that work with people. I love that you are a guide for them and a coach in helping them do the same thing. I love it.

Ash Perrow Yeah, thank you, Tiff and what an extraordinary gift for me to be a coach to have got to the point in my life where I can help other people with my experience and you know, one of the things that for me was unexpected is. That now

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Ash Perrow with heart based professionals on their messaging so that they can help people.

So literally now I help people who help people.[00:45:00]

Tiff Carson Yeah.

Ash Perrow It's, it's a mind blowing experience around the ripples, right? I was in one ripple and now I've moved out and this is all just from showing up and trusting.

Tiff Carson Mm hmm, and that's the same with me, too. It started with a podcast, then it went to a book, and then it's going to speaking, and then it's doing and like, All right, I'm here for the ride. Let's do this, know? And it was by doing those things, completing those things, and just, it doesn't have to be writing a book. It doesn't have to be speaking on stages. It can be getting out of bed. It can be brushing your teeth. It can be going for a walk. can be what might be small to some people are huge to those that really can't see the light right now.

Ash Perrow Yeah. So true. So true. And to keep showing up, it does get [00:46:00] easier.

Tiff Carson Mm

Ash Perrow That's,

Tiff Carson hmm.

Ash Perrow was part of me that was back almost 20 years ago, 15 years ago was so broken, so broken and would be blown away with what my life is like now and how I am now. It's extraordinary what, what that transformation is across time.

And so even if you can't see the bird's eye view right now, it's okay. Connect with people that can help you see the bird's eye view. Had so many therapists and wonderful people that have helped me along the way. It's okay. All those resources are right there. Whatever level you're at, right? Even if you're at the level of a leader, it's, you still need support and resources around you even more so.

So we all need it. So if there's someone there, it's, you know, it's not your fault. Just get, get the support in around you and those people that really believe in you so that you can keep going.

Tiff Carson I think in order to [00:47:00] do that, I think people have to be vulnerable and, and, and admit that, they need To be there beside them, to guide them, to not fix them, but to hold space for them and hold their hand and listen.

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Tiff Carson that's basically what I'm trying to do with my podcast and, and by bringing other people on to the podcast like yourself, that be for them. Where they can look you up and, and, um, be that support system for them. Right. So I think when we all do this work together, um, we're, we're just helping so many more people. And I'm so

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Tiff Carson freaking proud of you for doing the work that you're doing. And I'm proud of myself for [00:48:00] doing the work that I'm doing too.

Ash Perrow Yeah. I'm acknowledging that in you too, Tiff.

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-02-04 at 19.08: Thank you.

Tiff Carson Um, if your journey has taught you anything, Ash, it's that life can change in an instant. What impact do you hope that your work leaves behind in this lifetime?

Ash Perrow If I didn't do one more single thing to help anybody, I would be so satisfied with what I've already done. And things like your podcast, this doesn't just change the person who's listening. This changes the generations that follow that person. And so the work that you're doing and the work that I'm doing, this, this is impacting tens, hundreds, thousands of generations down the line.

Tiff Carson Mm

Ash Perrow Right? Our ancestors did things that have led to us being here right now. And it's the same. This is a gift to anybody that follows that lineage.

Tiff Carson Mm

Ash Perrow The way that you are, [00:49:00] how you treat people, that's what people learn.

Tiff Carson hmm.

Ash Perrow then they pass it on because that's, that's our human nature. So for me, that's, you know,

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Ash Perrow everything else is a bonus from here.

Right.

Tiff Carson Mm hmm. I feel the same way, too. Um, yeah. It's just, I'm just so grateful for these interviews and these moments. So I always ask my guest before I end every interview, what you are grateful for today, because one of the big pillars in my, healing heart journey framework is gratitude. And. Um, I know that my gratitude is so, so deep for this podcast. Like I said, because I, am talking to somebody in Australia, okay, like that is just,

Ash Perrow I'm

Tiff Carson still mind blowing to [00:50:00] me that I, I have this ability to talk to people in other parts of the world with different perspectives, different lived experiences. What are you grateful for today, Ash?

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Ash Perrow for people that help people. It's just such a gift. And it's the gift that keeps going out, like the ripples.

Tiff Carson Mm

Ash Perrow That's, that's, you know, and

Tiff Carson hmm.

Ash Perrow sacrifice ourselves in the way, like, that's what I used to do was self sacrifice. It can be an exchange, but those people that help people, that's, that's creating just phenomenal change in the world.

There can be so many other things that's happening, but I'm so grateful for those people that help people because that's the human connection. It's never going to be replaced, no matter how good AI gets,

Tiff Carson Mm hmm.

Ash Perrow connection is never going to be replaced.

Tiff Carson I agree. Never, ever that, [00:51:00] uh, just looking somebody in the eyes and feeling their energy. Like, that will never, never be replaced. Ever. So you work with clients one on one and you facilitate workshops. I am going to put your screen up here

Ash Perrow these days it's, I still work one to one with people that want to connect to their heart and, and move forward in their lives. But I also work with heart centered professionals so they can get their message out in the world.

Tiff Carson Awesome. is Ash. Wonderful. So if you want to connect with Ash, you can check him out on his website and on Instagram. I love your Instagram account. I'm always looking at your videos and always find them very, very, inspiring. thank you for doing those and keep them up because I look every single day now, now that I know, know [00:52:00] you.

So thank you again for being here and sharing your hard beautiful journey with us. And, yeah, I'm just grateful for, for today. So thank you.

Ash Perrow Yeah. Thank you, Tiff. And thank you for making such a difference to many, many generations to come just through living from your heart. Thank you.

Tiff Carson Thank you.

Intro/Outro: Thanks for being here for this episode of Hard Beautiful Journey. I hope today's episode inspired you to embrace your own vulnerabilities and recognize the strength within you. Remember, every story of resilience adds to the beauty of our shared journey. If you enjoyed this episode, please like, subscribe, and leave a review.

Your support helps me spread hope and healing to even more listeners. Until next time, bye for now. Keep shining your light and embracing the beauty in your journey. [00:53:00] Bye bye.