Untriggering Motherhood: How to Heal Childhood Trauma While Raising Kids

Breaking Generational Cycles with Emily Cleghorn

Motherhood is a journey filled with love, laughter, and growth. But for many, it also brings unexpected triggers, emotional flashbacks, and deep-seated wounds from childhood. If you’ve ever felt like your reactions to your children’s behavior were coming from a place much deeper than just frustration, you are not alone.

In this powerful episode of Hard Beautiful Journey, I sat down with Emily Cleghorn, an award-winning Trauma Recovery Coach, author, and speaker, to discuss the hidden challenges of parenting with unresolved trauma. Emily shares how she faced the darkest moments of early motherhood, learned to pause before reacting, and ultimately broke the generational patterns that once controlled her life.

If you’re a parent navigating triggers, guilt, or deep emotional wounds, this episode will give you the tools to start healing for yourself and your children.

The Moment That Changed Everything

Emily’s story begins in the raw and vulnerable early days of motherhood. Just days after giving birth to her daughter, she was sitting on her couch when an overwhelming wave of emotion hit her—what she now calls “the trauma freight train.”

It was sheer terror. Her nervous system was screaming at her to run—to escape a moment that felt unsafe, even though she logically knew she was safe.

“I knew I had two choices. I could listen to that instinct telling me to run, or I could stay and face what I needed to heal. I chose to stay.” – Emily Cleghorn

This was the turning point. She realized that if she wanted to break the cycle of trauma, she had to do the inner work—not just for herself, but for her children.

Why Triggers in Motherhood Are Time Machines

Emily describes triggers as “instant time machines”—they take you back to moments from childhood that you haven’t yet healed.

For many moms, certain moments—like a child’s tantrum or loud outbursts—can evoke emotions far beyond the situation at hand. It’s not about the crying or the mess; it’s about what that moment represents in your subconscious mind.

🔹 Does your child’s yelling send you into a panic? It might be because you weren’t allowed to express emotions as a child.

🔹 Do you feel like you’re failing when your child misbehaves? Maybe you were made to feel like nothing you did was ever enough.

🔹 Do you struggle to show affection? You may have grown up in a home where love felt conditional.

By recognizing these patterns, Emily teaches moms how to pause, reflect, and shift from reacting to responding.

Healing Starts with Self-Compassion

One of the hardest things Emily had to learn was that she couldn’t heal alone. Many trauma survivors struggle with deep shame, self-judgment, and the feeling that they should “just be better”. But healing doesn’t work that way.

“The things we say to ourselves—about failing, about not being enough—we would never say to a friend. So why do we say them to ourselves?” – Emily Cleghorn

The first step? Self-awareness and curiosity. Instead of judging yourself when you feel triggered, ask:
🧐 “What is this really about?”
🧐 “Where have I felt this before?”
🧐 “How can I respond differently?”

Healing is not about perfection. It’s about giving yourself permission to grow.

The Power of the Pause: A Simple Practice for Moms

One of the most life-changing tools Emily teaches her clients is “the power of the pause.” Before reacting, she encourages moms to:

🛑 Stop. Notice what you’re feeling.
💨 Take a deep breath. This helps calm the nervous system.
💭 Ask: What is this really about? Is it about your child’s behavior, or something deeper?
🎯 Choose how to respond. Instead of reacting from pain, respond from love.

“A pause gives you back your power. It lets you shift from reacting to responding.” – Emily Cleghorn

This small shift can transform your parenting and create a safe emotional space for your children.

Gratitude Rewires the Brain from Trauma to Peace

Emily believes that gratitude isn’t just a mindset—it’s a healing tool. Practicing gratitude can help retrain your nervous system to recognize safety and love, instead of always being in survival mode.

One of her personal practices? Daily gratitude affirmations.

💛 “I am grateful that I am safe.”
💛 “I am grateful that I am loved.”
💛 “I am grateful that I can choose a new path.”

Over time, gratitude helps reshape the trauma responses in the brain and replace fear with peace.

How to Break the Cycle & Know You’re on the Right Path

Breaking generational trauma isn’t about being a perfect parent. It’s about choosing to do the work.

It starts with awareness. Notice the moments that trigger you. 

It requires community. Surround yourself with people who support healing. 

It demands vulnerability. Apologize when you mess up. Show your kids what healing looks like. 

It thrives on education. The more we understand about trauma, the better we can heal.

Emily reminds us that it’s never too late to rewrite the story.

“When you know better, you can do better.” – Emily Cleghorn

Exclusive Offer for Listeners! 🎉

Emily has created an incredible Trigger Toolkit to help moms recognize and manage their triggers in real-time.

💥 Get 50% off using code HBJ50 at checkout! ➝ coaching.mamahoodaftertrauma.ca/triggertoolkit

Final Thoughts: Healing for You & the Next Generation

This conversation with Emily was powerful, emotional, and deeply healing. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your reactions in motherhood, know this: You are not broken. You are healing.

Your past does not define your future. You have the power to break the cycle.

💬 What’s one trigger you’ve learned to recognize in your own parenting? Share in the comments below!