Breaking Limiting Beliefs: A Powerful Approach to Deep Personal Change with Blake Lefkoe

Breaking Free_ Blake Lefkoe on Overcoming Limiting Beliefs and Living Authentically _ LIVE Episode
[00:00:00] Welcome to Hard Beautiful Journey, where we embrace vulnerability as our superpower and let courage light our path. I'm Tiff Carson, here to share heartfelt stories of healing, grief, and resilience. Each week, I'll talk with guests from experts to everyday heroes. About their journeys through adversity together.
We'll uncover the beauty that emerges from life's challenges and how each experience can spark profound growth. Join us on this courageous journey of connection and transformation.
Hey friends. How are you? Welcome back to Hard Beautiful Journey. Today we've got an episode that's going to shake up how you think about the beliefs that keep you stuck. My guest is Blake Lefkoe and her story is seriously fascinating. Growing up [00:01:00] surrounded by tools that help people break free from their limiting beliefs.
It sounds like a cheat code for life, right? Except Blake went full rebellion mode. For years she lived far from the values that she grew up with, battling addiction and unhealthy patterns until one day she hit the brakes, turned her life around and came back to those very tools with a new perspective.
In this chat, we're going to dive into Blake's journey, her work with the Lefkoe Method, and how she helps people break free from the beliefs that are holding them back. Along the way, you'll hear about joy and gratitude, wing foiling, and what it really means to create a life aligned with who you are.
Trust me, this is one conversation that you won't want to miss, so let's get into it. Hello, [00:02:00] how are you Blake? I'm good, thank you for that lovely introduction. Oh, I'm so excited. You guys, Blake is coming to the podcast from My favorite place in the whole entire world, which is if anybody knows me, it is Hawaii.
So I am so grateful to have you on the podcast today. okay. So the first question that I have for you, I like to try and make my intro questions a little bit different. So, If your life story was made into a Netflix series, what would it be called and what would that first episode be about?
Give us the highlights and feel free to spill some drama and maybe even the soundtrack. That would be your Netflix series. Um, [00:03:00] I feel like I'm in just Blake's world. I like that. I like that. How many episodes would there be? Well, it's still going. Yeah. Um, I feel like there'd be a lot of different parts.
I feel like the first episode wouldn't be the beginning of my life. I feel like we do like a flash forward. To, you know, so right before I kind of found my way back to the method, I was bartending. I was a single mom. I was coming out of a not healthy relationship. I had thrown my back out and I was out of the water.
 And I was like in just a really kind of terrible place where what had been fun and hedonistic and surfing and drinking and partying was [00:04:00] really just darkness. And I realized that, you know, my, my son deserved better and I deserve better. So I feel like that first episode would kind of be like the glamour lost and Starting to just realize, like, oh, this isn't fun anymore, and this isn't healthy, and this isn't sustainable, and this isn't fulfilling, and I remember that the weekend right before I got sober, it was Halloween, so I was like bartending and drinking at work and then partying and then this and then that, and it was finally Halloween night, all my son's friends over.
Pizza and beer, we went trick or treating, and like, they had a great time, and I woke up the next morning, and I didn't even remember the end of the night. I was like, what? What are you doing? It's Halloween. This is about your kid. This is about you. How old was he at that [00:05:00] moment? Eight. So an age where they are like, super excited about Halloween and everything.
Yeah. I gave him, I gave him time. It was like that I wasn't present enough to enjoy him enjoying it. And so that was kind of like, I'd say that would be the, the first episode was like where, where the shift started. I signed up for, a plant medicine ceremony and I ended up getting sober for that. And I sat with plant medicine for three nights and then I started doing the Lefkoe method.
I was like so fortunate that I had this tool at my disposal and just really started the process of a complete 180. Okay, I have two questions. Which plant medicine was it, ayahuasca? [00:06:00] Yes. It is in my schedule. It is happening this year, and I, you can ask, there's a few people that know about my desire to do this.
And yeah, I, I could talk to you probably for hours just about that journey alone. And I've, I've sat, I've sat with a lot of ayahuasca. yeah, it's been, it's been a good part of my life for the last three years. Has it? Um, yeah. So that's. Um, I, I feel like the plant medicine and the belief work really go hand in hand.
Um, they're, they're both clearing energies, but they're doing it in a very different way. And I sometimes feel like You know, you learn things in ceremony and you purge things and you clear things and you have these, you know, downloads and these amazing things happened. And sometimes when you go back to life, you [00:07:00] can still end up in your same patterns.
And it is a life changing experience, like absolutely. But the belief work kind of like integrates it a little more because you're actually eliminating the beliefs that cause the patterns. So you're moving the patterns, like you're nullifying the triggers. So things aren't triggering you anymore because those, those aren't triggers, right?
Right. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, it's, it's, gosh, there's so much to say. Okay. So the Lefkoe Method. So you grew up. With the Lefkoe Method. So your, your dad is the founder of the Lefkoe Method. So give us, what it was like growing up and what you were seeing and learning as a child with your dad being the founder for that.
Yeah, so my dad worked downstairs. His [00:08:00] office was downstairs. And there was like a little guest room in his office and my mom saw clients in there. And he was home a lot and, you know, he'd come up and have lunch with us. And it was just so, it was his passion. Like, my dad didn't have hobbies. He had his work.
And it wasn't like a workaholic where it was unhealthy. It was like, that's what excited him. That's what lit him up. Like, people would, you know, watch golf and he would like read about. Quantum theory. Yeah. It was just in brain science and studies. Yeah. Um, so you know, dinner was like talking about the process and what he was coming up with and what was working and what wasn't and this thing and that thing.
And then my mom would see clients and she would talk about her clients and there's amazing things that, you know, she had helped. People clear and move through and how people were different. And it was just like, God, just like, shut up, talk about something [00:09:00] else. You know, like, Oh, God, interesting. Yeah.
And it was fun because at some point I went back and I did a training with them. I did like a live training. It's a long time ago. And someone, they were asking me to do an introduction. And I was like, it was like growing up eating chicken for every single meal. And then people are like, you know, you want to just, Work on a chicken farm?
And I was like, no! What are you doing? I don't ever want to eat chicken again. Yeah. Um, and, and, but it was so good because having all the experiences that I had led me to where I am now. And not only made me the person that I am now and gave me the life that I have and how I think and what I do and all of that, but it took me on a journey that enabled me to relate to.
Other people, right? If I just had this easy level of personal development, like there's just, you know, you're missing some substance and you're talking to that's [00:10:00] an alcoholic and missing work. And I'm like, Oh, I really understand what you're going through, except that I've never experienced any of that.
Yes. They're really experiencing that and being like, yeah, I know. I've lived that. I've, you know, I've been there. I've, I've let doubt or fear stop me or this negative Um, yeah, I understand that. And I know that you can work through that because, like, I'm on the other side and it's amazing over here. Mm hmm.
Like, I'm on the other side Um, So what, um, so growing up in that environment and eating the chicken every night, what made you rebel against it? What made you say, no, I'm, I'm good right now. I don't want to deal with that. I want to go this way. I mean, I think there's partly like a lot of kids just rebel against their parents.
I mean, there's kids who have parents that party and they're [00:11:00] like, I'm never going to party. I'm going to get straight A's. Right. It's just like something. And I think one of the ways that I had, because they were so supportive and they were so loving and they were such dedicated parents, it was like this way of being able to rebel.
Because my dad would support me no matter what I did. He had no expectation of me. And so I was like, Oh, well, I'm not going to do personal development. I'm actually not going to look at my stuff at all. And I'm just going to party and have fun.
And he was supportive through that, your mom and dad were supportive through that time or? My mom was like, a lot of fear. My mom had a really hard time and my dad would always just be like, Shelly, just trust her. Just trust her, like she's like, she's without these words, but he was like, she's in her process.
She's going through what she needs to go through and she's going to come out the other end. Just trust her. And. You [00:12:00] know, he always did. And it's, it's so bittersweet, right? Because when he died, you know, I was like an alcoholic. I was with my son's father who was like very toxic alcoholic. I was a bartender.
I was living in Hawaii and I had a great life, you know, I surfed all the time, but the, again, there was, it was lacking substance. Like I just didn't look at my stuff. And so the drinking went from just being. Fun and hedonistic when I was younger to being this suppressant, right? You're trying to like hold a beach ball underwater.
Mm hmm. And, um, Yeah, so, you know, like, when, when he died, that's where I was. And again, he never judged me. He loved me unconditionally. He was so supportive. And now, being where I'm at, and like, kind of carrying on his legacy, and doing this work with people, and having transformed my life, being the kind of person that he was.
Mother I am, and just always trying to grow and learn and [00:13:00] heal and what comes next and creating my own business and working in the Lefkoe Institute and teaching in the Lefkoe Institute and, Um, I don't know, like sometimes it's just hard because I know that, I know that he's, he's here and he sees it and, and whatever, but, um, Um, it's, it's just kind of sad sometimes that he's not actually here.
Mm hmm. Yeah. Working alongside you physically. Yeah. Like all these conversations that I didn't have at the dinner table as a child and now I'm dying to have with like, oh, but like this process and what if he used this on this kind of person? And yeah. And if this person is stuck with this and like when someone needs validation, like what are the beliefs under that?
And mm hmm. Mm hmm. And like, oh, I saw just. Yeah. Figure that out. Okay. So your story has a lot in it, like rebellion, addiction and healing, and you turned the script on your life and what was going on, that [00:14:00] Halloween, around that Halloween.
time, right? How, once you did that, how did you start working with other people to help them rewrite their life? Yeah, so first I just had to do a lot of work on myself. So, I eliminated a lot of beliefs. Like I was saying, I sat with a lot of plant medicine and I just started looking at what wasn't working in my life and what I wanted my life to look like and what I didn't want my life to look like.
And You know, the relationships and friendships and, and kind of mothering and, um, learning how to find balance, which is really hard for, for everybody, but I think especially with people like addiction stuff, right? It's always like more. I want it all. I just want more. And learning how to find, like, happy with some and content with a little and, or, or happy with none, you know, and like, that's, that's been a really great lesson that's It's, you [00:15:00] know, still ongoing.
And at some point I started taking all the trainings. So I took the LACO method training one, two, and three, the certification course. And somewhere along those, those lines, I started seeing clients of my own. And then at some point I just, I just couldn't be in the restaurant industry anymore. It was so toxic.
Was it more amplified even now that you had started to do the work on yourself and the training? Yeah. I mean, once, once I got sober, it was harder, but then it was like, it wasn't my world anymore. I went in and I worked and I left. I wasn't sitting at the bar. I wasn't playing it on my days off. Um, but, but starting to see that toxicity and that negativity and that darkness and all these people that, We're doing the opposite of what I was doing, right?
It's like trying to find that, that light and that growth and that [00:16:00] healing. And all these people were just like, I'm going to just drink and eat burgers. I don't want to feel, I don't want to think, I don't want to go there. And I, I got really sensitive to a lot of the energies. Like people would come in and I was like, Oh my God, they're so sad.
There's so much sadness there and they don't show it. Right. But you can just start to like, see that energy in people. And it wasn't, nobody was changing. They were just like digging their, their graves deeper. Spending more money and having one more beer. And, you know, going to the bathroom to do drugs. And leaving with other toxic people.
I was just like, I can't, you know. And then being in that industry is just. You're up super late, you don't have time to eat, you know, there's no, you're not sitting down for dinner, you're, you're rushed, you're going, you're just, you're around alcohol and fried food and, and unhealthy people. And that's unhealthy people that work in that industry as well.
And when you're young and you're in your twenties, like, yeah, it's a great way to make money. But the problem is it kind of sucks you in and traps [00:17:00] you. Um, so yeah. And so finally I just, I was like, you know what? I'm going to just. I have some savings and I'm going to start my own business and I'll live off savings until it's sustainable and just kind of putting my energy into that, and sometimes I would get clients from the Lefkoe Institute as well, um.
That were already in the Institute? Well, so my mom does this and my mom's been doing it for 35 years and she's amazing and um, She charges more than I do. So if people were like, oh, I, you know, I can't afford you. She's like, you know, I'll pass you to my daughter. She has a sliding scale. She really just wants to work with everyone and grow her business.
So that was amazing. Very fortunate to have that. Did you ever have imposter syndrome or, um, doubts that you could do this work? I have that sometimes with some of the stuff that I work on. So, [00:18:00] especially working, In the work that your parents were doing, did you ever have that? I didn't have imposter syndrome, especially because like, when you work with clients and they eliminate beliefs, like you, there's a shift, right?
You have the belief I'm not good enough and you've carried that your entire life, right? And in this moment, it goes away and you see that in someone, like their energy changes and all of a sudden they're just like, Oh my God, like that's not true, right? And they come back the next day, like, tell me how your week was.
And they're like, Oh my God, like all of a sudden I wasn't doubting myself at work anymore and I didn't get invited to thing, but I didn't care. And I, and I gave it this other meeting or I started parenting my child differently, or I stopped fighting with my husband so much, right. And all they're seeing all these changes and then they, it's the more beliefs.
Right? And then they come back and they're like, Oh my gosh, now like this pattern is, is shifted and I don't even get upset about this anymore and my anxiety is going [00:19:00] away and, you know, and so I never felt an imposter syndrome because I saw it working. Right. And so do you start with one limiting belief or like a whole bunch of them and kind of work on them or how does that work?
What works is people come to me with a pattern. Right? A negative behavioral or emotional pattern. So I procrastinate, I have anxiety, um, I people please, I'm really insecure, I drink too much, I emotionally eat, right? So it's like things that people are doing that they don't want to be doing, or things that people want to be doing that they're not doing, anything.
And we really kind of fleshed out that pattern, and then we look for what are the beliefs that would contribute to it. So, um, for procrastination, a lot of people have beliefs like I'm not good enough, nothing I do will be good enough, mistakes and failures are bad, if I make a mistake I'll be rejected, [00:20:00] and if you have beliefs like that, and you sit down to start a project, like it's really hard to start a project because you're terrified of making a mistake, you're afraid you're going to get rejected, you don't feel like it's going to be good enough anyway, and, and so all these beliefs are what cause our patterns, they cause our behaviors, our emotions, our thoughts.
And as you eliminate these beliefs one by one, the patterns just start to shift. And what's really neat is at the beginning of a session, we check the pattern. Okay, I did this, I felt this. Yeah, I sat down on my computer and I went on Instagram and I went on Facebook and I checked my email and I did this and I did that and then I cleaned my house and I never wrote that paper I had to write.
I'm like, okay, what are the thoughts and feelings, right? So you start the beliefs, you do a couple of beliefs, and then at the end you're like, okay, so imagine we hang up, you open your computer, you sit down and write that paper, what comes up? And sometimes it's like instant, people are like, yeah, yeah, I can write it, I'm excited to.
And sometimes people are like, Oh, it [00:21:00] feels better, but there's still a little bit of fear that it's not going to be perfect. And we're like, okay, cool. So what's that? And then you start looking at those beliefs, um, and as you eliminate more and more beliefs, the pattern just shifts until it's gone in a really profound, long lasting, you know, like it just.
It's not like, there's no integration, there's no tools or tricks you have to remember. Yeah. I have one, I think I want to like, I'm debating asking you this question. Will you help me work through one of mine right now? On this call? Yeah. It's very, oh my goodness, I can't believe I'm actually going to talk about this, but it actually came up,, at, and I have already talked about it on a previous podcast that, I did, but it came up for me at, my trainers.
I was in a training session and I had [00:22:00] made progress. I had made progress, um, in our one month or our, um, monthly check in and I should have been excited. I should have been like overjoyed and freaking out and happy. And I did the check in. I got on her treadmill, for my warmup and I started crying.
And I was, and she's like, what is going on? And I said, I don't know how to handle the positive aspect of this change because it scares me that if I make this change to my body and my appearance, that I will get rejected again. And so like, it's a deep one, right, where it's just like, I want to hide this.
I just want to hide to protect being rejected. Oh, like, like I have been. [00:23:00] And so I just keep going back to sabotage and like, I'm just gonna eat those eight Oreo cookies. Sorry, coach, if she's listening. Oh, sorry. So, like, that is a belief in my mind right now after having, uh, you know, some things that have felt like a deep rejection that is now a belief in my mind and it's stopping me from progressing.
Okay. So this is, this is kind of complicated, but let's see. I'm trying to see if we can like pull a single, like an easier belief to work on. So what happens is we form beliefs, right? For example, I'm not safe as a child, as a child, right? You're in an environment, abuse, whatever's happening. And you conclude I'm not safe.
And then what happens is you make somebody happy, right? You do something good and [00:24:00] they go, Oh, good job. And now they leave you alone, right? So you go, Oh, I see the way to be safe is to make people happy. And then it becomes a survival strategy. So now you're spending your life making people happy and you feel like your survival is dependent on it, right?
And so first you get rid of the belief, I'm not safe. And then you get rid of the survival strategy. What makes me safe is having people be happy or making people happy. So there's a fear of rejection, right? But like what's under that, what's when, when you get rejected, what's the feeling that that brings up?
Is it like there's something wrong with me? Yeah. I'm not good enough. Yeah. Uh, there's, I'm not good enough is the one that usually comes up. Yeah. So that's like 95 percent of my first sessions with people. That's the belief that we do. Okay. So when you say I'm not good enough, is there [00:25:00] any kind of like sensation or emotion that, that comes up with it?
Um, just like a sadness, like right in my heart space. Okay. Okay, so typically beliefs are formed when we're four, five, six years old, our parents do the best that they can, but as children, we always ask why, right? And so when our parents do things, we don't go, Oh, yeah. Well, mom's busy because she doesn't know how to say no to people and she takes too much on.
And dad's drinking because he's an alcoholic and he's got emotional issues. We go, Oh. It's because I, I'm not good enough. That's why I'm not getting my needs, me. Mm. Mm hmm. So when you were a child, what's kind of the earliest you remember having that feeling of not being good enough? Hmm. Could be like, parent's report card, or criticism, or Well, I It's interesting.
I'm actually, [00:26:00] yeah, I'm going to say it on this podcast. So there was a time when one of my relatives, shamed me for not Basically saying I couldn't use her daughter's things, her two daughters things, like their brush or dress up in their clothes or that sort of thing. And I, I distinctly remember feeling like, okay, I'm not good enough for her daughter, like what, what they have.
Right. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Mm hmm. That totally makes sense. Yeah. Is there anything else, like anything with your mom or your dad, anything at home? Um. If you got a, or you cleaned your room, was there any? Nothing really stands out, and I've really, really tried to rack my brain on that one. Actually, no, one does come up.
Um, but, [00:27:00] It, it's interesting because I was just born and I didn't even know the story until late, much later in my life. So um, I know that, I'll just tell you the story and then you'll understand. So my dad, when, when I was born, that is in the era when you literally, they, you can't, the dads didn't go into the labor, into the room.
Right. The, the wife just goes in and has the baby. Um, so my dad just dropped my mom off at the hospital and went and played hockey. And so like she was alone giving birth to me. But he scored a goal in that game. So he wasn't there for my birth, but I didn't know that when I was being born. But afterwards, when I found out that he wasn't there, it was like, Oh.
But he was there for my sister when she was born, but that was [00:28:00] six years later when things were different. So is that something, because that's the only other thing that I can honestly think of. Okay. Yeah. And then, but there was nothing like if you, um. I don't know, there was like no, you didn't get criticized for anything.
Whenever you go, all your needs and wants were met, you got all the attention that you wanted. Oh, no, no, actually, now that you're bringing all this up. So it's actually in my book that I wrote, my brother and I, him and I were 18 months apart. He passed away, a couple of years ago. But him and I would hightail it out of my grandparents house and go to the park.
Partly because we just wanted to play, but also because our parents, and my grandparents, they sat around the table and drank and smoked. And so there was a lot [00:29:00] of that and I don't remember feeling like we weren't ever taken care of. That isn't how I felt, but I think there was probably a lot of, yeah, go, go play, you know, get out, that sort of thing.
So does it make sense that growing up in a house with parents that smoked and drank and were kind of like, you know, go off, go play, right? And kids want a lot of attention, right? You have kids, you know, they want God sent attention. So getting all of your, you know, your wants and your needs met, you were kind of getting sent off.
You find out that your dad wasn't even there when you were born, right? He was playing hockey. You go with your aunt and you You know, she tells you, you can't touch your cousin's things. Does it make sense how a child experiencing all those events might conclude, Yeah, I'm just not good enough. Yeah, totally.
And does it make sense that any child experiencing those events [00:30:00] might conclude the same thing? Mm hmm. Yeah. Okay. So, what's another way that we could describe those events, right? One is, I'm just not good enough. Another one is, My parents had their own issues. They were parenting the way their parents parented them.
It had nothing to do with me. They parented my brother the same way. And if they had had eight other kids, they would have treated them the same way. It's not that I'm not good enough, that's just how they parent. Is that a possible interpretation? Absolutely it is, yep. And is it possible interpretation that, I mean, maybe in that house you weren't good enough because nobody was good enough in that house.
That wasn't like a thing that existed, but that doesn't mean you'd be good enough anywhere else. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. And is it possible that maybe as a child, you weren't good enough, but that doesn't mean you never will be. Mm hmm. Yep. [00:31:00] Yeah. Is it possible that your aunt had her own issues, her own insecurities?
That she was somehow projecting on you, and it had nothing to do with you. It was her own issues and not wanting to share her kid's stuff with you. But maybe she didn't want to share that stuff with anyone. Maybe she was jealous of you or she, right? We don't know. Mm hmm. But is it possible there was another reason that she didn't share those things with you other than because you weren't good enough.
Absolutely. Yeah. Okay, so if we can come up with all these other ways to describe these events, right? We could even say, maybe your parents thought you weren't good enough, but they were wrong. Mm hmm. Maybe your parents thought you weren't good enough, but that doesn't mean anyone else will think that. Mm hmm.
Maybe your parents thought you were good enough, but again, that's just how they raised kids. Mm hmm. Rather than deal with you being good enough or not, they would have treated you the same way. Mm hmm. Right? Mm hmm. [00:32:00] Your dad wasn't there when you were born, not because you weren't good enough, but because that was the time period that dads just didn't go.
Mm hmm. Maybe even when you were born, hockey was more important, and then he saw you and was like, Oh my God, I miss this. I'm gonna make sure I'm there when my other daughter's born because I'm never gonna forgive myself for not being there. Mm hmm. Yeah. Okay, so we can come up with all these alternative interpretations to explain these events.
Is what you said, I'm not good enough? The truth, or just one possible interpretation of those events. One possible. Yeah. And doesn't it seem like you can almost see as a kid, look, I'm not good enough. There's examples everywhere. Look, my dad's not there. My aunt's not letting me play with this stuff or use this hairbrush.
My parents are just sending us out. Yeah. And if we go back in time and we're standing there and we see the aunt. Take that hairbrush [00:33:00] out of your hand and say you can't, you can't use this. You can't play with their toys. And we see the toys. We can see the color of the brush. I can see the color of the hair in it.
I can see you wearing the room you're in, the furniture. I can see your aunt, the expression on her face, right? Mm hmm. Where in that room is I'm not good enough? Good question. Can we actually do it? Yeah. So anything we see, I don't have anything right here, but it has a color, a shape, a location, right? A texture, right?
We can see the brush. It's smooth. It's pink. It's plastic, whatever. I'm gonna hold on to something right now. Okay. Yep. Okay. Yeah. So when we go back in time, we can't see I'm not good enough. That doesn't exist. We can see an event. Mm hmm, right? And then we go back in time and We see your dad playing hockey.
You can see the puck, the rink, [00:34:00] all his gear, right? See your mom in labor, the hospital, the gowns, all the things. Right? We see you born. Where in that is I'm not good enough? It's not there. Yeah. All we can see are events. And if I'm not good enough wasn't out there in the world, where has it been for all these years?
Oh, I'm like getting teary eyed right now. Is this normal? Yeah. That's okay. Yeah. If it wasn't out there in the world, where's it been?
Oh, sorry. That's okay. It's not real. But it's been somewhere. Where's it been? I don't know. Where is it? In my heart? Yeah. It's been in your head. Mm hmm. It's been in you. Mm hmm. Yeah. Okay. Now, here's a crazy distinction. Events have [00:35:00] consequences. Consequences of those events were real. Right? It sucks that you couldn't play with your cousin's stuff.
Right? Yep. There was consequences. You didn't get to play with those stuff. It hurt your feelings. Right? There was consequences. Absolutely. Consequences, your dad wasn't there. That hurts. Yes. Absolutely. Your parents send you off when you need stuff. Yes. But there's no meaning in those events. Those events don't mean anything.
I don't know anything for sure about you because those events happened. Mm hmm, mm hmm. Right? Yep. Yeah, that's true. Okay, so if events don't have meaning, can a meaningless event make you feel anything? No. So what causes the emotion is the meaning we give to events, not the events themselves. Right? So you gave those events the meaning, I'm not good [00:36:00] enough.
And then that's how you felt. So imagine, let's go back in time and you had a Auntie Blake who lived next door. She was just this like super safe, fun place and you'd go over there and one day you went over and you're like, you know, my aunt won't let me play with my cousin's stuff and I just found out my dad wasn't there when I was born and I really wanted my mom's attention but she was drinking and she kicked me out of the house.
And I was like, Tiff, babe, look, you were born at a time when dads weren't supposed to go. It had nothing to do with you. That was just the culture. He didn't know how important it was and he missed out, you know, and your aunt's got some weird issues. She's jealous of you or there's something going on there, you know, but it's nothing to do with you, you know.
And the way your parents parent you, that's just how they parent. That's just how they are. They parent your brother the same way. It doesn't mean anything about you. [00:37:00] And you're like, Oh my gosh, I never thought about that. That makes so much sense, right? None of this stuff means anything about you. This is just how they parent.
It sucks, but this is how they parent. And whatever is going on with your aunt, there's something weird going on there, but it's because of you. She's got her own. Her own insecurities, her own jealousies, whatever that is. Mm hmm. Okay, that makes sense. And imagine you go home and your mom just kind of shoos you out, but this time you give it this new interpretation.
Oh, that's just how she parents, got nothing to do with me. And as you give it this new interpretation, what's the feeling now? Um, peace, honestly, like just, okay, I'm just gonna go and play.
Cool. So, notice, peace is a very different feeling than I'm not good enough, right? Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Very different. So, just, you felt I'm not good [00:38:00] enough. That doesn't prove the belief is true. Mm hmm. The meaning you gave the events produced the emotion, not the events themselves. Give those events a different interpretation, different meaning, the feeling changes.
Mm hmm. Right? Mm hmm. If you had given those events a different meaning as a child, would you have ever felt, I'm not good enough? If you gave those events a different meaning, would you have ever felt I'm not good enough? Mm mm. No. And if you didn't feel it then, would you feel it today?
No. Yeah. Okay. One last piece. Imagine you were switched at birth. Mm hmm. Everything about you is the same. Your wants, your needs, your desires, what you like, everything. Yeah. And you grew up in a house with two fully functioning, dedicated parents. And you decide you like soccer, and so your dad coaches a soccer team.
And every Friday, mom says, what do you want for dinner? What game do you want to play? You know, you come home with a [00:39:00] bad report card. And mom's like, how can we support you? You know, math is hard. I get it. What can we do for you? What do you need? You know, and you clean your room, and your mom's like, gosh, this is amazing.
You did such a good job. I'm so proud of you. And you're like, hey mom, I need some attention. And she's like, awesome. What do you want to do? Let's go on a date. I'm here, I got you. And as you grow up, experiencing these events, do you feel I'm not good enough? Mm mm. But if I'm not good enough was a fact, if that was really the truth about who you were, there's nothing we could do that would change it.
We can't change facts. Two plus two is four. Doesn't matter what color, what language, where it is, it's still a fact. If we change how you were parented, and it's no longer the truth. Can it really be the truth about who you are? Yeah. Take a deep breath.
Say, [00:40:00] I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough. And still feel sad in your heart? No, not as much. Not as much or not at all? Very close to not at all. Well, I want it to be none. Right. Yeah. So how do you know that that's true? Because typically we know that something's true because we see it or we felt it. Or even somebody told us it.
So does it feel like you know that because you saw it or because you felt it?
I think it's, I think it's because, um, of the Deep. I'm not good enough from my marriage as well. My marriage ended. Right? So that's like more, it's closer. It just happened. It's fresh. Um, couple of years ago. So that's still kind of like right there a little bit., Is it [00:41:00] possible? So this, this is what I was talking about.
The survival strategies, right? Sometimes the belief goes away, but we have what makes me good enough is. It's succeeding or not failing or doing things well, right? So you're like, what makes me good enough is this thing. And then my marriage didn't work out. So now I'm not good enough because of this other thing.
Does that make sense? Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Totally. So does it feel like as a person, like who you are is someone that is just not good enough? Absolutely not. I know I am. Okay. So that belief is gone. Mm hmm. It is. Okay. It is, it's true because I know I am . So just get outta there and it and like if it's, wow, okay, people
okay, this is unreal. So this is what you see in [00:42:00] the one session and that's why there's no imposter syndrome 'cause it, you're just seeing it. Like, like that. Yeah. Yeah. And, and, and the other thing is like, you know, the first session that takes a little longer, but I have clients, we do five beliefs a session.
So they're like nailing patterns, right? I have like, I have this one woman, this is crazy. She, her parents were like, you're going to be a doctor or a lawyer. She's a lawyer. And that this is it. There's like no ifs, ands, or buts. You're going to be a lawyer. And this is what you have to do and how you have to live.
And she came to me, she's like, I'm a lawyer and I'm miserable and I hate it. And I can't, Quit my job because I feel like, right, she had all these beliefs. So we started eliminating beliefs and we checked the pattern and I'm like, okay, can you see the possibility of you doing something else? And she goes, Blake, not only can I see the possibility of me doing something else, I know what I want to do with my life.
Came back the next week. I was like, what happened? How was your week? [00:43:00] Fill me in. She was like, I started a company. I started a business. Like that stuff, right? Like I had a guy who was like this super dysfunctional alcoholic. He would like miss calls because he would just go on these benders. Couldn't hold a job.
Couldn't hold a relationship. He would get so overwhelmed, so anxious. He had an appointment to go get on medication. And we had sessions and he stopped drinking. And he started holding a job and his ex wife was like, I don't even recognize you. You don't even look like the same person. He went to his appointment and he was like, I'm good.
I actually don't need anti anxiety meds. I don't have anxiety anymore. And he got to this place where he was like, my life is still kind of crazy, but he's like, but it doesn't stress me out anymore. Like I'm not at the effect of it anymore. Right. Yeah. Like, I can deal with my family now. Like, I, even, even like he was crazy.
Like, even his, how he spent money changed. Just everything. He got [00:44:00] this job and he's like, I would have never been able to keep this job. And he's like, it's so easy. So when you see these changes happen, and, and then what happens is people are like, they go on. It's not like therapy. They don't just keep coming back.
They have five or ten sessions. They're like, The stuff I came to you for is not an issue anymore. Yeah, yeah. So you've got this tiny little taste of like one belief. Right? Imagine if we started doing all this stuff about rejection. Yeah, yeah. Right? You're rejected. And, and, and the stimulus of, of rejection and fear.
Like you can even just take the stimulus away. You can break that apart. That's one of my favorite processes. It's really fun. So, I mean. I could talk for hours about this, so, but I have like, I need to know about wing foiling and how, how did you get, okay, but first of all, what is it and then how did you get into it?[00:45:00] 
Um, so foiling is a discipline, it's, it's a board, it's got a wing under it. So it's like. Underneath of it? So it's like aerodynamics, but hydro. So when you, you have a board, you have a mast, and then there's a wing. So you can like get one where you like paddle like a surfboard, catch a wave and if there's momentum, the wing engages.
And then you lift up and then you're riding above the wings in the water, but the board is out of the water and now you're riding above it. And the waves over, you can use that momentum and you can use that wing and you can pump back out and just get on another wave. So I started doing that really early when it came out.
And then, um, we've got a ski and then you can like tow people into waves and you ride these waves for like two minutes and then they just pick you up and they just bring you into another one and you just catch a million incredibly long, and it can be super [00:46:00] small and you ride these longer wings and you just glide and just float.
It's amazing. Is there competitions like normal surf competitions? There's starting to be. Yeah. They're, they're really fun. They're like local fun things. It's not like the world tour where it's crazy competitive. Yeah. Girlfriend. Um, and yeah, they actually, so wing foiling is foiling, but you have a, a wing.
And so when it's windy, it's like this inflatable. Go YouTube it. There's so much cool stuff. But you hold a wing and you harness the power of the wind to take you where you want to go. And then when you catch the wave, you depower the wing. Yeah. And then you just. And then when the wave's over, you pick the wing up and you just go back and you just catch a million waves.
People are going between islands now. Yeah. Just did a race from Molokai to Oahu. What? Oh, awesome. Um, so is that like super hard on your body or like, does it, do [00:47:00] you find that, um, it's helped you connect with your body more and
It's kind of a double edged sword because it keeps you strong and fit, but like wipe outs going 30 miles an hour are like not good for your body. It can kick the crap out of you. Like, like surfing can too, right? There's a fine line between chiropractic and acupuncture and like also being fit and strong.
Um, but what it does for me more than anything, it's like, It's, it's my passion. It's like, it lights me up and it just gets me super excited and super amped. And. You know, it's what I, what I love to do where I thrive. That's awesome. Um, so you asked me [00:48:00] a million questions. I'm ready. How does it feel having eliminated a belief about something that you felt was the truth your whole life?
 It feels absolutely incredible. And I'm not just saying that, honestly, I'm not just saying that. It feels, what is the word that I wanted? It feels peaceful. That's the only, like, it just feels. I feel peace in my heart. Amazing. I want to do one more, one more thing with you, okay? Mm hmm. So, is it real to you that you create your beliefs?
Yes. And is it real to you that your beliefs create your life? Yes. If you create the beliefs that create your life, what does that make you?
Very powerful. Yeah, it makes you the creator of your life, right? Mm hmm. Typically, we live like who we are is the sum [00:49:00] total of our beliefs, our behaviors, thoughts, and emotions that come from them. Mm hmm. Right? Mm hmm. But you eliminated a belief that you thought was who you were. Are you still here? Yeah.
You still exist, right? I'm still here. So we can't just be. We can't. Fair beliefs, because if we were and we eliminated them, we would be gone, right? Yeah, yeah. So there had to be an I before there was an I'm not good enough. There had to be an interpreter. Holy, stop right there.
Just so you know, that one's going to be on the reel. Okay, say that slow. Say that one more time. There had to be an I before there could be an I'm not good enough. There had to be an interpreter. Before there could be an interpretation, right? When we're born, it's like we come into this world and we're like a sculptor with a ball of clay.
We're like, oh, a little bit of I'm not worthy and a little bit of I'm [00:50:00] not good enough. A little bit of rejection is dangerous. A little bit of there's something wrong with me. But then we start living like we're the sculpture. Like we're the beliefs we forget that who we really are is the sculptor, right?
So when we're born, we come into this world like a ball of consciousness. And before we make any distinctions about ourselves, life, people, money, relationships, do any exist? No, right? In that place of no distinctions, of not knowing anything, and being the creator of your life, in this moment, not later, in this moment right now as the creator of your life, what's possible?
Absolutely everything. Yeah. And in this moment right now as the creator of your life. What limitations do you have? None. Yeah, and in this moment right now is the creator of your life. Is anything missing? Mm hmm. Close your eyes. What's it feel like to be the creator of your life?[00:51:00] 
I want to swear, but effin exciting. Amazing. Yeah.
What the heck? This is, okay. Mind. Blown.
I needed this so badly right now. Do you know that? Like, Oh my god. Cause I know, I know. All of the possibilities for me. Not possibilities, the realities for me. I know that. And I needed that right now. I needed this to happen right now. So, I'm going to say one last thing because I know we're like way over time, but what happens often is people have a belief that they try and [00:52:00] talk themselves out of, right?
Well, I know I'm good enough because I'm a good mom and, you know, I'm a good CPA and I have this podcast and, like, I know I'm good enough. right? But deep down inside, you don't. And so you have to convince yourself and you have to spend all this energy telling yourself why you're good enough and how you're good enough.
And right. And then you have the survival strategy. What makes me good enough is whatever. And then you have to put all that energy into doing that. So you feel good enough when you get to the source and you just pull the roots out and you get rid of the belief, you no longer have to spend any energy convincing yourself that you're good enough because you don't believe that you aren't, right?
Like if you think you're pretty, you don't have to put affirmations all over your house telling you that you're pretty, it's, it's redundant. So if you don't believe you're not good enough, you don't have to put any energy telling yourself that you are because you just know that you are just, you can put [00:53:00] that energy and time and other things.
Yeah. You're welcome. Yeah. All right. Okay. This
mind has been blown. Um, wow. Okay. So on that note, we are going to go to this screen where you're going to check out where you can find Blake. Uh, her website is Blake.
And Blake, tell us what you can help people with today, or like what, what you want people to come to you for today. What you just did with me, right? Yeah. So if you come to the website, it's, it's just a link to a free consultation. So you don't have to buy anything. There's no shopping carts. It's super easy.
It's Make an appointment, chat with me, tell me where you're at. I can help people with anything, like anywhere you are stuck, anywhere you feel lack. [00:54:00] And again, anything you want to do that you're not doing, anything you're not, you are doing that you don't want to be doing. Like I really like to, to think of it as like, I want to give people freedom, right?
Like free yourself from guilt, free yourself from baggage, free yourself from limitations, free yourself from. Anything, like anywhere you're stuck, like whether it's in a relationship or just not taking care of yourself or eating those eight Oreos when you don't want to, or being afraid or having anxiety or feeling socially awkward or having just like that constant negative mental chatter, right?
Like procrastination, just, I mean, anything, it's all beliefs. Like our beliefs literally determine our world and it's not just how we see our world. It's what shows up. You know, I've helped people with money where they're like, I have to work really hard for money. It's like a super common belief. And I helped someone eliminate it and [00:55:00] literally they got like a check in the mail from some random thing.
Right? It changes the energy that you put out. It changes what is possible for you. And it changed, right? Because. When you believe I'm not good enough, you look for it everywhere. You're like, oh, there's another example, there's another example. There it is. See, see, I'm not good enough. And when you eliminate that, you stop seeing it.
It doesn't exist anymore. And you create space for other things to come in.
Like I said, I could talk to you. For hours and hours and hours and hours and hours about this. Okay, I might have to have you on for part two and three and four and five and six. Um, so I end every episode asking my guests what they are grateful for today because there is always something to be grateful for.
Even in our hard, beautiful journeys, what are you grateful for today, Blake? [00:56:00] God, I'm grateful for so much. I'm grateful for the people in my life. I'm grateful for my family. I'm grateful for my son, my partner. I'm grateful for living in Hawaii. I'm grateful for waves. I'm grateful for my body and it being able to just
I'm grateful that I get to live a life aligned with my passions and values and get to be my authentic self. I'm grateful that I am able to do something for work that's so fulfilling and really helps to just bring more light into the world. And I'm grateful for the, the hardships because that, Makes the light that much brighter.
It sure does. And, um, a beautiful platform to enjoy it from. Mm hmm. Oh, my goodness. I could go on forever. [00:57:00] So could I. So could I. And honestly, like, it's just, it's life changing. Gratitude is life changing, and I'm just grateful for having This platform that I do have to talk with people like you who are helping other people, understand and, work on themselves.
And this has just been absolutely incredible and I cannot thank you enough for walking me through my own limiting belief. And I feel, honestly, I feel peace. And I'm super grateful for that. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You're so welcome. Thank you for having me on. Yes. Thank you again for being here.
Thanks for being here for this episode of Hard Beautiful Journey. [00:58:00] I hope today's episode inspired you to embrace your own vulnerabilities and recognize the strength within you. Remember, every story of resilience adds to the beauty of our shared journey. If you enjoyed this episode, please like, subscribe, and leave a review.
Your support helps me spread hope and healing to even more listeners. Until next time. Keep shining your light and embracing the beauty in your journey. Bye bye.