Writing Through Grief: How Denise Clanin Found Healing After Loss

10 Sound Effects 4: [00:00:00] Welcome to Hard, beautiful journey where we embrace vulnerability as our superpower and let courage light our path. I'm Tiff Carson here to share heartfelt stories of healing, grief, and resilience. Each week I'll talk with guests from experts to everyday heroes. About their journeys through adversity.

Together we'll uncover the beauty that emerges from life's challenges and how each experience can spark profound growth. Join us on this courageous journey of connection and transformation.

01 Main Mic: Hello everyone. Welcome back to Hard, beautiful Journey. Have you ever had to watch someone you love, fight a battle that they never signed up for? you ever stood by helpless wishing that you could trade places with them, wishing that you could take away their pain, and [00:01:00] then when they're gone, what did you do with the weight of their absence? Did it crush you or did you find a way to carry it forward? Denise Lannan knows these questions intimately. She lost her brother to a rare medical condition, his life, his struggles and his strength shaped her in ways that she never expected. 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: But 

01 Main Mic: grief doesn't come with a roadmap. It leaves you stranded in a world that keeps moving, even when yours has come to a stop. So Denise did what many of us don't think to do. She wrote her way through it. And what started as a way to process her own loss became something much, much bigger. Her novel among the stars together mystery, love and redemption, reflecting the very journey she's been on herself. A journey of learning how to live with grief without letting it define her. I know this journey all too well. [00:02:00] my brother changed me in ways that I am still uncovering. And I've spent years finding my own path through this heartbreak. But grief is deeply personal and no two people walk through it the same way. So today I wanna know, how did Denise navigate it? How did she take something so painful and transform it into something that heals not just herself, but others? what does storytelling give us that real life sometimes can't? Denise Clan is here to share her story, and trust me, you're gonna wanna hear it. So let's dive in. Hello Denise. How are you?

20 Guest 1: I am doing well. Thank you for having me on your podcast.

01 Main Mic: I am looking forward to this conversation. I didn't tell you this yet, but I am reading your book right now and I am thoroughly enjoying it. I love a good mystery [00:03:00] and a. Mystery that has romance in it too, is just exactly kind of book that I love reading. So I'm about halfway through, so don't give me any, don't give me anything.

I wanna know how it ends. Alright,

20 Guest 1: oh yeah, no problem.

01 Main Mic: so let's get to the beginning of this journey, um, with your grief. I wanna honor your brother today, and I would love if you would tell me and my audience about him and who he was, what he loved, and what it was like growing up together. And when you lost him, what, did that moment change everything for you?

20 Guest 1: So first of all, my brother and I, um, he was too. Years older than I was. Um, we were very close growing up. We, um, went on several family vacations together. Um, his friends were essentially, um, older brothers, like, or additional older brothers. Um, they were very close, uh, family friends, and we did a lot together with them and their families. [00:04:00] And we just, my brother never had a mean bone in his body. He was kind to everyone he, um, encountered. He had a very contagious sense of humor and. He just was very much the life of the party. Um, you just wanted to, he had this positive energy that you just wanted to, um, emulate when you were around him. And so he rarely had any sibling rivalry or any conflict. It was just a very, very positive experience with him growing up.

01 Main Mic: was his name?

20 Guest 1: his name was Garrett.

01 Main Mic: So what was it like, um, living with your brother 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: who 

01 Main Mic: had 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: this 

01 Main Mic: serious condition?

20 Guest 1: So he was diagnosed when he was 11 years old. Um, the disorder, it's actually called NF two, uh, neurofibromatosis type two. It's a condition where tumors grow throughout the body and there's no currently no cure for it. Um. It can invade different nerves, um, especially the 

acoustic nerve. And that is when he, my brother, did lose his ability to hear and eventually, um, over the years also lost his ability to speak and had impaired [00:05:00] vision. So it was a gradual process. It wasn't just a onset immediately after diagnosis. Um, he had probably about a decade of, um, time where he still had those abilities, but over the course of his life, um, he did eventually lose those abilities.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: it was hard to see him go through going through that. 'cause he had a very normal childhood.

He could hear, he could speak. Um, he definitely liked to sing, so 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: so 

20 Guest 1: definitely to use his vocal chords. So. And always loved music. That was one of his biggest, um, passions. And so having to watch him lose that, that or those abilities, um, 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: was 

20 Guest 1: de uh, debilitating, um, for him. And so just over those years, that was when I guess my family and I, we had to kind of lean on each other in our faith to get us through those really dark times.

Um, in the last guess, the last decade of his life.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm. How old was he when he passed away?

20 Guest 1: He was 29, almost 30.

01 Main Mic: Oh, okay. Um, and so it was when he was about [00:06:00] 11 years old that there was this change starting to happen, and so you had 11 years with him of experiencing normal childhood, memories with him. Right.

20 Guest 1: Yeah, he, um, he had a little bit of, um, I guess, um, learning disabilities. He had a, um, A DHD, so he did have, um, a little bit of special attention, but he had a relatively normal childhood. Um, he, it wasn't really until the diagnosis when we knew that 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: that it. 

20 Guest 1: it, his life was going to be very different, um, in the future.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: And so that was why my parents were very proactive in having, um, or planning family vacations together so we could enjoy like those positive moments while they lasted. 'cause we didn't, at that time, we didn't know how long, uh, he would be with us. It could be a matter of like a few years, it could be a few decades.

And so we just wanted to take advantage of the time that we did have with him.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm. 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: So 

01 Main Mic: he was diagnosed with this, they didn't have, um, like a prognosis or how many years you would have with him? 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: with him?[00:07:00] 

20 Guest 1: They were unsure. It really depends on the severity of his condition, how many tumors there are, how aggressive they are, um, in, in terms of invading different, uh, nerves. And so we, or the doctors basically didn't have an answer for us, so we just had to kind of go through, well, he went through various surgeries and procedures to see if they could kind of. Remove some of the tumors that were, um, that were an issue. And that pretty much was, um, just, yeah, very, uh, unclear.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm. That's the one thing that I talk about in my book with the loss of my brother, is the anticipatory grief that I, I experienced with him. Um, just having a feeling that I, I knew that he was going to pass away 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: and 

01 Main Mic: it was just a matter of time. Did you have that experience as well as. You know, it's going to happen sooner than a, you know, in an 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: a, normal 

01 Main Mic: lifetime. Um, did you experience that or did your family experience it?

20 Guest 1: Yeah, we [00:08:00] didn't talk about it. Um, but we knew that we had no, um, no certainty of how long he would be with us. Uh, we just tried to take advantage of the time that we did have. Um, but it was, uh, disheartening, uh, especially, uh, as he. 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: he. Started 

20 Guest 1: more serious complications and losing his ability to hear and eventually, um, speak.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: And at that time I just, we never knew, um, if, especially with surgery, 'cause surgeries are very risky and there's no such thing as a simple surgery. So you just kind of have to go in, uh, one day at a time with that.

01 Main Mic: Yeah. So when you did lose him, how did that moment change everything for you?

20 Guest 1: So I think at that. It definitely did change things, um, especially just the dynamic with my parents. 'cause at that time or just before he passed, they essentially put all their hobbies and activities aside to be, uh, his full-time caregiver. Um.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: Um. 

20 Guest 1: Because at that point he could, he was, um, it was very challenging for him to move.

He couldn't speak and couldn't hear, and he was in chronic pain. So my parents very [00:09:00] much needed to be the full-time nurses and caregivers that he needed. Um, and that was their role for at least I think five or six years. And then after he passed, um, my parents, I know it was a big adjustment for them because then they were having to figure out what they're going to do next. Um, 'cause that was their full-time role. And then that I could definitely see, uh, the challenge for them and for me, even though I, um, was not his caregiver. Um, but even just witnessing that secondhand, it was. Um, it was a challenge for me as well with adjusting to a new normal.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm. Absolutely. So. Grief definitely has a way of making us feel isolated and it can feel like no one else really understands what we're going through. those early days of loss and losing your brother, 

what did you do 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: to 

01 Main Mic: comfort yourself and was there a moment when you realized that? Healing from, this wasn't about moving [00:10:00] on, but about carrying your brother's memory forward with you.

20 Guest 1: Yeah, so I definitely appreciated having, uh, both family, friends, um, as support. Um, we've had just, we were very blessed to have, um, a good support system of, um, different family members and friends who have been there throughout the years. And we even, um, had set up a, I guess an annual charity event.

Um. Where, where basically we had, uh, run a race, uh, to raise funds for, uh, the charity that, um, called the Children's Tumor Foundation, that basically, um, raises funds to find a cure for this disorder.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: so, uh, we've had several friends and family who've participated in this race. It's a 5K every year.

Um, and it was just amazing to see that turnout of love and support from these people in our lives. 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: Mm-hmm. 

20 Guest 1: so very thankful for them. And, um, and I've also just, I've been able to also look back, um, now just looking at photos and videos and just different pieces of, or different memories. Um, remembering just positive legacy that, uh, 

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20 Guest 1: brother left behind. [00:11:00] I can always, it just brings a smile to my face anytime I look at a photo of us when we were children or, or even when we're older, just on our family vacations. And so I've always thought, um, the power of like nostalgia and memories, um, can also provide a kind of a way to heal with grieving.

Um,

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: Mm-hmm.

Because 

20 Guest 1: even though he can never be replaced, I still, uh, want to honor him through, um. 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: um. 

20 Guest 1: For remembering, remembering all the positive memories that we've, we shared together, and I'm very thankful for those.

01 Main Mic: Absolutely is. Do you have any other siblings besides your brother?

20 Guest 1: Unfortunately, no.

01 Main Mic: Yeah. He was your only sibling.

20 Guest 1: Yeah. 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: Yeah. 

20 Guest 1: I.

01 Main Mic: Uh, so many people. Uh, struggle to put their pain into words. But you turned to storytelling much like I did. in doing so, you found a way to process your grief. And was there a moment when you were writing among the stars that shifted from something [00:12:00] personal to something you realized could help other people besides you?

20 Guest 1: I think definitely, um, looking back at, um, my writing journey, I also. I saw, uh, parallels with the main character Natalie in the book to my journey with loss. Um, in the book, she loses her father. Um, I lost my brother. So even though it's not the exact same dynamic with the family member, that we've lost the journey that we've had to go through, where we've had to allow ourself to, to grieve and to kind of accept that there's going to be a new normal.

That it's okay to feel these, um, intense emotions of sadness and sometimes anger, to be honest, like. during the grieving journey, there's a, I guess a variety of different emotions that I've faced, and those are completely okay. And I've had to, um, come to terms with that and I can accept that I'm not always on my A game, and that's completely okay.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: so I find myself, uh, kind of in that, I guess with Natalie's journey that mine, I can also, uh, 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: yeah, 

20 Guest 1: [00:13:00] can also relate to how, what she went through, uh, throughout the course of the story.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm. So my memoir, um, my writing was a memoir and yours is fiction. And fiction often allows us to explore truths that are too hard. To face head on and in among the stars, Natalie is searching for answers about her father's death while also discovering more about herself at the same time. In what ways does Natalie's journey reflect your own, besides what 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: you just 

01 Main Mic: covered?

20 Guest 1: So, besides, um, the loss of a family member, I've also had to deal with the adjustment when it comes to, uh, your career path, um, being your identity, having to separate the two, um, I feel like it's very easy to associate yourself based on what profession you do. And so for Natalie, she's a resident doctor, and so obviously that [00:14:00] takes a lot of time and effort and I, I can't even imagine what they must go through, but that. That definitely became her identity. And so similarly for me, I was, um, before I had my son, I was an accountant for almost 10 years, um, after college. Um, yep. I pursued the accounting profession and that became it. It was very easy for that to become my ident identity, but I had to make sure that I kept that separate, I work to live, but I do not live to work.

01 Main Mic: Yeah.

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: Um. 

20 Guest 1: My work is separate from my personal life. And so now I've, after having my son, my, um, career path is actually, um, taking care of him and my daughter, who I've recently welcomed into our family.

And so now motherhood is also a, almost a sort of career path that I've had to keep separate from my personal, I guess my personal identity, um, that even though I am a mother, I'm also Denise, uh, an individual. Um. And so Natalie, um, obviously went through that and her, the book and her, uh, childhood friend Justin, who's also in the book, even goes through a even harder [00:15:00] time with that.

'cause he is a movie star. And I cannot imagine like, trying to keep your personal life and, uh, career separate when every one of you're in the media and everyone's, yeah, everyone knows who you are. I can't imagine that.

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: Mm-hmm. 

01 Main Mic: You've woven themes of faith, redemption, and hope into your book in such a natural way, but I imagine that you had many moments of deep doubt in your own life and moments where you questioned everything that you were doing, like your accounting career. How did your faith evolve?

Throughout this journey of yours so far. And how did writing help you find? Find your way back to trust.

20 Guest 1: So definitely, um, throughout my life, uh, my parents have always had a strong Christian faith that they've shared with my brother and me. And so that is something with, with prayer and just, and having and trusting that God has a greater play on even beyond what I can see. It's always given me hope, [00:16:00] even in the darkest of 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: uh, 

20 Guest 1: Circumstances

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: especially was true when my brother was going through all those medical complications and we didn't know how long he would be with us. And that's when I leaned heavily on prayer. Um, and just accepting that I'm not gonna have all the answers. And a lot of it is just trust. And even if I can't see how it's gonna work out, like, or if my future's going to work out, that in the end, this, this hardship that, um, my brother went through, is that something good will come out of it even though the hardship itself is not good by any means. But there is something beneficial that will result out of this, but I can't see it and it may not even happen in my lifetime. so that is something I've had to hold onto, um, throughout those really challenging times.

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: Mm-hmm.

and 

20 Guest 1: And, I know now, like looking back that because of what I went through with him and well with watching him go through, um. All that suffering, that, that has actually made me stronger as a person and where I can kinda empathize with people who have lost someone or are dealing with a chronic [00:17:00] illness themself, um, after what I've gone through with my brother and then I've been able to use those experiences and adapting into a, a book or, or using the similar examples, uh, to a book.

'cause obviously the book is fiction, but

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: But using what I've learned moving forward to kind of orchestrate a book that, um, touches on deeper themes and makes you, uh, you begin to think and wonder, uh,

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: and giving you hope for, for the future, even when you may not like where you are right now. And so even though it was very challenging going through those times that I was, um, definitely not, uh, appre or not enjoying that. Um, I can be appreciative of how much I've grown throughout it and how it's shaped my writing in,

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: run. I.

01 Main Mic: Mm. One of the most powerful themes out of your book is forgiveness. And forgiveness isn't just about other people. It's often about making peace with ourselves as well. Did you ever struggle with forgiving how [00:18:00] life? Took place for your brother and how it took him than you would've liked and your parents would've liked, and what did it take for you to move from 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: That 

01 Main Mic: Maybe anger or not understanding to accepting.

20 Guest 1: So definitely in the beginning. Um, I would say that was. Or I mean the beginning after the few, the first year or so after he passed. Um, there was definitely that, I guess for me, bit of anger that he was taken from us too soon, that he didn't even live to, to his 30th birthday. Um, 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: Hmm. 

20 Guest 1: and at that time, uh, it was hard when some of our family and friends, uh, who were. were there for the funeral and there, like the beginning stages of his passing, they kind of moved on to their life. I guess it's, um, definitely makes sense. We don't expect them to hang around, so it def we're not, I'm not upset, upset at them,

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: just kind of the. that our life is not going back to normal and that, uh, my brother's no longer with us. And he felt [00:19:00] like it did feel like he was taken too soon. There was definitely, um, those feelings of anger that came that I experienced. But looking back, I, definitely, um, been able to myself. Um, 'cause sometimes I feel like. We can be a harshest critic. Uh, I have, I definitely know, um, I've struggled with forgiving myself when I felt like I made a mistake and I've seen the effects on somebody else where it might have hurt them,

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: but it actually is freeing to be able to forgive ourself, um, and letting go of that guilt. And that actually is a theme I, um, I kind of, uh, dive into in my book. And that's something I've, I've had to learn. Um, and it's because we're not perfect, we're humans and. W on. And one of the, um, I guess one of the quotes I've heard is that work works in progress till the day we die. So we always have improvement, but that's, that's okay. We're, you know, we just take it day by day and just allow ourselves the grace that we give other people. And so definitely, um, willing to forgive myself and, uh, definitely forgive any of like my family or friends where [00:20:00] we might have, well, especially my husband. Um. If we ever have conflicts, I definitely want to forgive, uh, because that honestly sets me free and I am, and I just want reconciliation at the end of the day.

01 Main Mic: mm-hmm. Um, I don't know about for you, but for me, it felt like no one, especially sibling grief, that no one really understood what 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: what 

01 Main Mic: sibling grief felt like or. what I was feeling in general. 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: Um, 

01 Main Mic: but something definitely powerful happens when we share our story and we share our grief. Can you recall a moment when someone reached out to you and told you that your writing had helped them? And what did that mean to you?

20 Guest 1: So it comes to writing is healing, I do remember sharing this story with a family member, uh, who had been struggling. And I know that sharing that with her, she was going through some, some hard times. Um, she liked that kind of, that breath of fresh air [00:21:00] from reading a story that has, um, a hope in it, messages of hope and redemption and forgiveness as central themes. That it isn't just a, a story that, 'cause there are obviously times and places for folks that don't have, um, happy endings or, you know, they tend to be a little bit more cynical on. 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: Uh. 

20 Guest 1: And or more critique of, uh, society, but that's not so much this story. Um, while it definitely does portray people, um, as imperfect and flawed, but it also shows that there's hope even in, um, the most challenging of times, even when we've messed up that we can, there is still hope and we can still, um, be reconciled 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: Mm-hmm. 

20 Guest 1: that no one is too far gone.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm. For sure. So not everyone writes a book, uh, to Heal, but I believe that every single one of us has a story to tell. What would you say to someone who is grieving right now and feeling stuck and not sure how to express their grief? How can they begin telling their [00:22:00] story, their own story, even if no one ever reads it?

Like how? How can we encourage more people to start writing?

20 Guest 1: So I think one of the most, um, I guess relieving things for me is, uh, or ways that I've learned to write is just writing for myself. Not thinking of it as, oh, I have the, I guess the goal of, uh, publishing this story and trying to make money off of it that I've had to just. Be essentially be selfish. Just write for myself.

Don't think about other people, because sometimes I can get into that perfectionist mindset if I'm thinking about, oh, how is this, how are other people gonna perceive this? Um, this story. But I just encourage anyone just to start by writing for yourself first and foremost, whether it's fiction or nonfiction.

Just, just writing a sentence. Maybe just writing one sentence a day, whatever comes to your mind, and not thinking about like who it's for or the target audience. 'cause that can come later. I think just getting your thoughts on paper is like the, probably the first [00:23:00] step and, when it comes to grieving, various emotions.

Um, it just. It's all over the place. Like sometimes I do have, um, I guess triggers, um, from my brother, uh, where something or an experience or even a song like on the radio might trigger kind of a, an emotional response from me

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: And 

20 Guest 1: that's okay just to have that, like that's totally acceptable. And so just writing about whatever you're feeling, um, or whatever comes to mind, I think is, um, very therapeutic. And so that's what I would recommend.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: and 

20 Guest 1: that there is.

01 Main Mic: many years has it been since your brother passed away?

20 Guest 1: It was, uh, over five years ago.

01 Main Mic: Five years. Okay. So grief never goes away, right?

20 Guest 1: No, it.

01 Main Mic: I'm on year three and a half, and it's never gonna go away, but we learn to live alongside of it. And what does life look like for you now and how do you continue to honor your [00:24:00] brother while also allowing yourself to step into new joy and new beginnings like your children and all of those wonderful things that are happening?

How do you how do you live with both?

20 Guest 1: So I've been, um, I've been able to kind of that, um, the past. I can't change the. Past, but I can be thankful for it, thankful for the memories that I did have with my brother and, um, as family. And I can always look back on those memories. But I'm also able to move forward and know that my life now, it's essentially the next chapter of my life. And I saw that happen pretty quickly after he passed. It was 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: It was about 

20 Guest 1: years, um, after his passing, when my husband and I decided to move up to the North Idaho area and buy our first house.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: And then the year after that is when we welcomed our, our son into our family.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: and then that was when I made the career shift.

Um, and so after that it was a, a lot of [00:25:00] change,

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: I'm very thankful for it

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: now it's just an, it's another chapter and so it doesn't mean I closed the, my, the old chapter of my life, um, metaphorically speaking. I can still look back on it, but I'm also able to look forward and kind of use what I've learned from. My experiences, um, growing up and it can apply that moving forward now as being a mother, uh, which definitely has its own 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: challenges.

01 Main Mic: sure does. Wow. 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: So 

01 Main Mic: I would love to hear about your book writing experience and working with a publisher and where people can find your book.

20 Guest 1: So my book actually started, well, the idea started as a, um, as a writing prompt in my creative writing class in college. It was just a GE class that I thought would be fun 'cause I've always enjoyed writing growing up. I, um, as a kid I would write books, um, just for myself. Like, I would like staple pieces of paper together and just like write and draw on it.

And, and it was,

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: too. 

01 Main Mic: I did that all the time. I

20 Guest 1: it was.

01 Main Mic: [00:26:00] miniature books with like little staples and yeah. I put 'em, I, I created a series.

20 Guest 1: Oh, that's, it's fun.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: And so I did do that as a kid. But of course when I was younger I was not really thinking about plot or character development. It was just. myself, but it was fun. And I, but I always had the goal of writing a book into its completion, but I never got around to it.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: so 

20 Guest 1: college, when I took the creative writing class, it was, there was a prop to write a, um, a few chapters of, for a fictional novel. And so I began writing, I guess, the early stages of this book. Um, it, it wasn't even called Among the Stars. It was something completely different and diff very different characters in a different setting, but kind of the beginnings of this story.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: but after, uh, I finished the class, I never, uh, returned to that book.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: and then I continued with my college, uh, my upper division classes in college, um, with accounting and then, uh, basically just never revisited the book until. I guess about 10 years later, that, yeah, it [00:27:00] was a decade later after, um, my son was born and I had some free time, uh, just the little bits of free time when he was napping.

Um, that was when I realized, oh, I still have this book or this, um, story idea that I'd really like to like finish. I started, um, brainstorming some new, I guess, avenues for the characters and the plot development, and then the biggest change was. I, now, I was living in North Idaho, so I was like, oh, why don't, might as well change the setting to where I live now.

01 Main Mic: Yeah,

20 Guest 1: And it was definitely that, was the point when I really, um, started writing and I was, um, unsure if I would be able to finish. But I just let the, the ideas kept coming and I just kept writing. And before I knew it, I finished the book.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And it's so good. I am gonna put it up on the screen here so that people can 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: find it. 

01 Main Mic: Um, and. is with Morgan Pierce media publishing.com, Denise Glennon. [00:28:00] And so yeah, I will have the link in the show notes so that um, you guys can check that out. I got it off of Amazon. I'm reading it on my Kindle and 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: and 

01 Main Mic: yeah, I just love that you took your. Your hard, beautiful journey losing your brother and that you 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: It 

01 Main Mic: came back to something that brought you joy. Which was writing. Um, as an accountant myself, I completely understand that. Um, I am, I'm not supposed to be an accountant either. Just FYI, and it's, it's interesting that you were accountant and a writer too.

So yeah, I'm, I'm just really happy that you went back to something that sparks joy in you, even after such 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: such 

01 Main Mic: devastating, um, loss of losing your brother. Because some people just clam up and they just don't do anything with their grief. And you are showing other [00:29:00] people that you can 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: live 

01 Main Mic: life after a loss like that.

So, um, I always end every episode with my guest asking them what they are grateful for today, because there is always, always something to be grateful for, even in the hardest moments. What are you grateful for today?

20 Guest 1: So I am definitely thankful for my family. Um, 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: my 

20 Guest 1: my parents, um, and my husband and now our two kids. thankful that. 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: I. 

20 Guest 1: We can start our own family. I wasn't sure that would be possible. Um, I definitely could say five years ago, um, after my brother passed, we, my, my husband and I, we weren't sure if we would be able to afford a house and we weren't sure when we would start a family and, 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: and, 

20 Guest 1: um, well, I guess very thankfully. We were able, um, just kind of trusting in God and praying about it. We eventually, um, found a house and were able to move, um, to a beautiful part of the country and start our family here and, now just, it's amazing just to see how far we've come and even in just [00:30:00] those five years.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: And I always value kind of that close family connection.

And so we wanna continue to instill that those values. With our kids and when they get older and we can have our own, uh, family memories like vacations and, um, other, yeah, other fun experiences together. so definitely thankful for that. Um, and just. Yeah, overall, just the journey. How even just how far we've come and during that time, I can thankful for it, even in the, even with the hardship that it has, uh, helped me to grow, um, and my husband to grow.

And in our marriage, we've grown stronger since, uh, beginning. Um.

01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.

20 Guest 1: And I know that just 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: I. 

20 Guest 1: even right now with the challenge of having a baby and a toddler at the same time, um, I'm definitely gonna be able to look back on that and, uh, be thankful that I went through that. Even with the, the sleepless nights and the tantruming toddlers, like that's, it helps us grow.

So I'm very thankful for this journey.

01 Main Mic: Yeah. Awesome. I'm grateful, uh, that you were able to reschedule so that we could have [00:31:00] this discussion and that you could share. About your journey and share about your brother and how special your relationship was with him when you had him here for almost 30 years. So yeah, I'm grateful for you being here and being willing to share your story. 

Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-03-05 at 19.04: So 

01 Main Mic: everybody go check out Denise, um, and her book Among the Stars. It is so good. I can't wait to finish it. And yeah. Um, thank you. Thank you for being here.

20 Guest 1: Oh, thank you for having me.

Thanks for being here for this episode of Hard Beautiful Journey. I hope today's episode inspired you to embrace your own vulnerabilities and recognize the strength within you. Remember, every story of resilience adds to the beauty of our shared journey. If you enjoyed this episode, please like, subscribe, and leave a review.[00:32:00] 

Your support helps me spread hope and healing to even more listeners. Until next time, keep shining your light and embracing the beauty in your journey. Bye bye.